Thursday, November 02, 2006

Boredom at Harbour



Just something random. I was feeling bored at work today. Had to do the harbour, which means extreme coldness and er…nipple erection? Hur hur. But thank god I was blessed with the camera from n80. so snap snap snap it went. But only one picture worth the showing:

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

My Personality

ENFP - "Journalist". Uncanny sense of the motivations of others. Life is an exciting drama. 8.1% of total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Rocky Horror



Alter: The title for today’s episode seems a little weird, don’t you think?

Adi: Why?

Alter: First of all what’s Rocky Horror?

Adi: It’s this classic movie. Susan Sarandon acted in it. The rest of the actor, I can’t really remember their names.

AlteR: Speaking of Susan Sarandon. I really love her.

Adi: Me too. Especially those sad- drama movies like Anywhere But Here and Stepmom!

AlteR: Anywhere But Here? Isn’t that the movie where she acted with that girl who also acted in Star Wars? I can’t remember her name.

Adi: Me neither. But anyway the movie was banned and is still ban I guess in Singapore cos of the strong Transsexual elements inside it.

Alter: Transsexual elements?

Adi: Apparently the lead character is like this transsexual Dracula or something, and then Susan Sarandon and her boyfriend are like stranded in this strange area. They went into this castle like house to seek help, but turns out they were trapped inside the place, and experienced weird incidences. Throughout the movie, there were songs and dances and lots of sexual innuendos!

AlteR: Sounds exciting.

Adi: Yes. So there is this friend of mine called Greg.

AlteR: Who is Greg? New love?

Adi: Nope. We met at a friend’s party. Greg happens to be one of those people who love to host parties. And his parties always have themes. Like the other time, he hosted this party called Christmas in July. So everything you see during the party was like associated to Christmas. These include Christmas stockings hang around the house, mistletoe hang above the door frame, and then there was also Christmas tree fully decorated. The food is the best. You have like crambulae, roasted turkey and lots and lots of chocolates. It is just too bad that I don’t drink, cos during the party, the guests all bring like bottles of wines and beers with them, ranging from Bailey’s and Bacardi to bottles and bottles of Vodka.

Alter: So what kind of drink do you have during the party?

Adi: Soda water. Which is just as well, cos I was more of working during the party rather than an invited guest.

AlteR: working?

Adi: Yeah. Actually Greg hired me cos he finds me very outgoing. You know how during some parties, there will be some individuals who just don’t blend into the crowd. As in, they are either too shy or they just feel awkward cos they are surrounded by strangers.

AlteR: Yeah. What does that have to do with you working during parties?

Adi: Okay. Basically my job is to interact with these people. Sort of to warm them up so that they will feel more comfortable to mix around with the crowd in the party. So during the Christmas in July Party, I was dressed up as an Elves. So I was supposed to like approach people with cheesy lines like “you know, Santa wouldn’t like people who keep to themselves and not talk to others during parties, ESPECIALLY during parties to honour Christmas. And how do I know this? Cos I work for Santa”.

Alter: (laughs)

Adi: Yeah. And then of course we would go through the basic conversation of “what’s your name?” and “what do you work as?” and that kinda getting to know stuff.

AlteR: So what did you tell these strangers? As in your name?

Adi: Oh. During the Christmas party, I told everyone that my name is Twinkle and I work for Santa in the North Pole, sending out gifts to good little kids. (laughs)

AlteR: I see. So what is your name during the Rocky Horror Party?

Adi: Okay. The Rocky horror Party is like a Halloween party. So during the party itself, you can find lots of Carved out pumpkins around the house, and then the food only consist the finest candies and chocolates. And the best part was there was the fountain fo chocolate fondue! Yeah. You guessed it right. I was hogging on to the machine and was like snacking on mountains of Ferrero Roches there.

Alter: But I thought your trainer has out you to strict diet?

Adi: Sshhh! He doesn’t have to know you see. But I did stick to his advice of taking in lots of water.

AlteR: that is because, apart from the soda water, the rest of the drinks are liqueurs, right?

Adi: not true. There were soft drinks around.

AlteR: You don’t like soft drinks.

Adi: (smiles) But I do drink them.

Alter: Only after bad sex.

Adi: Hey! You are not supposed to disclose that. See. Now everytime, if I were to drink fizzy drinks, everyone would know that I just had a bad sex. And for the record, I also drink soft drinks after I eat disgusting food. Food which tasted worst than dumps!

Alter: Okay. We seem to be digressing.

Adi: Oh yeah. Where were we?

Alter: You were talking about your chocolate rendezvous.

Adi: Oh yes. Anyway, the thing that I like about the job is that I get to make friend.

Alter: Friend or “friend”?

Adi: (laughs) At the moment, just friends, thank you. Though most of them are cute and guess what? 95% of the guests are either gays or bisexuals, the rest of the 5% are either straights or lesbians. Rooms are also provided should you find yourself madly attracted to another guests in the party and decided to like screw around in private. And I happen to meet this masseuse.

AlteR: I reckon they don’t call themselves that nowadays.

Adi: OH yes. What was the word again? Body therapist or something like that. Sounds cheam cheam, but actually they both mean the same lah, except the later is perceived to be more high crass, and thus they could like demand higher service charge. Anyway, he expressed interest in me lah.

AlteR: And?

Adi: Well. He is very shy. And me doing my job, I approached him and try to warm him up to the crowd lah. He is okay personality wise. In terms of look, quite average.

AlteR: So you are like attach├ęd to him.

Adi: No lah. I don’t think I want to settle down yet. I just want to fling around at the moment lah. And you know my motto. When it comes to fling, I might as well settle for the good ooking ones. Only when it comes to like serious relationships that I seek beyond looks lah. So I told him that we just remain friend loh. And now, I have discounts for massage at Marina shopping center! So exciting right?

AlteR: That is cool. How about the pay for the job?

Adi: The pay is cool too. And on top of that, my cab fare is also covered. So it’s like I get to make friends, party hard (with the liqueurs, if I choose to drink that is), and eat as much junk as I want, and on top of that, being paid for my presence and my expertise in interaction and have my cab fare covered. I thought that was very cool. And during the party, I had this talk with one of the hosts of the party lah. He was saying something like “one’s level of tolerance towards kinkiness increases with one’s experience. Like for example, if someone ha sbeen indulging in BDSM for a long time, maybe to him, BDSM is no longer kinky, but more of a normality.” I have to say I agree to that.

Alter: Me too!

Adi: So yes. It has been great so far. I say let’s sign out now, and catch up on our much deserved rest/ sleep. I have work tomorrow.

Alter: Wait. You did mention something about costumes and themes for the party. But, you only mentioned that you were dressed as an elves during the Christmas in July party. But you have not told us what you dressed up as for the Rocky Horror Party?

Adi: Okay. I was supposed to be a drag during the party. But then again, since Greg couldn’t get me a professional make up artists, and had his female friends doing my make up, I find myself looking more like I was dragged rather than drag, if you get my drift. But I really like those feather boas which is by the way a favourite prop during the parties. Almost everyone and anyone got one of their own. You will see what I mean when you take a look at the pictures. Right. I guess we have once again overshot our scheduled slot. So this is the cue for us to like sign off and end the show.

AlteR: this is Alter signing out.

Adi: This is Adi. And of course, as always, here are the pictures for the day. Enjoy yeah and ciaoz!






Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Hari Raya



Alter: So how was your hari raya this year?

Adi: (laughs)

Alter: did I say something wrong?

Adi: Nah. It was just a peculiar question. That’s all. Anyway, last time, every year, on the first day without fail, I would be messaging my buddy, Faizal, of how I was bored to death. You know. Cos usually the first house we would go would be my grandmother’s house. And my family is like the outcasts you see. So when we arrive, we would be like ignored like as if we are not there. You know, the aunts and uncles can just like look through us. The thing I don’t get is why my father insisted that we sit for a very long time (an hour of boredom is enough to kill okay!), when we are practically ignored and that our presence is not even acknowledged there. I have never had any likings for my aunts and uncles anyway. So on the first day, I was practically feeling horrible every year.

Alter: And you would message Faizal?

Adi: yeah. Because our family is almost identical. His aunts and uncles are like my aunts and uncles and his father is the type like my father. So both of us would be miserable on our first day of raya. And in order to elevate the misery we would be bitching with one another through sms-es.

Alter: I see.

Adi: But this year, it is different. Cos he apparently he is married and he no longer have to visit his “Saudara Tercinta”.

Alter: Saudara Tercinta?

Adi: yeah. It is a term we gave to our uncles and aunts out of sarcasm lah. Saudar Tercinta means the bellowed family. Cos the thing that we both don’t understand is why the heck do our family still wanna keep in touch with these useless uncles and aunts of ours despite their ill manners and ill- everything. And they will always like hush me up when I kinda be sarcastic to the aunts and uncles.

Alter: Who?

Adi: My parents! It was so frustrating. But like I say this year is a bit different.

Alter: Like how different?

Adi: There was no messaging to Faizal this year. Instead I was like this bitch who has just been released from some far away lock up place. I was like really sarcaatic to everyone in my grandma’s place. And when they tried to ignore and not talk to me, I approached them and talk to them, making sure that they get all the sarcasm I have always buried behind that polite smile I had all these years.

AlteR: Care to show us an example?

Adi: Okay. Why not we roll one of the clips?

Clips rolled…

Makcik: So what are you doing now?

Adi: I am an interactive actor in
Sentosa.

Makcik: Really? How do you find it there?

Adi: I
enjoyed it. After all, I have always enjoyed acting. And I discovered that it
runs through the family.

Makcik: We got actors in the family meh?

Adi: Got. But I am a paid actor. Most of the members in the family are
unpaid actors. In fact they are better at their crafts than most paid actors.
They are so good pretending and acting, they don’t even need to try. (the malays
say pandai bermuka muka, meaning infront all msiles, but behind you they stabbed
you and talked bad about you).


Adi: After that I just walked off.

Alter: Your parents didn’t say anything?

Adi: I think they felt that I am old enough to decide what is good for myself. So this time around they didn’t really try to stop me from my antiques. And the coolest part is that, I will be working on most weekends, meaning I don’t have to meet them when they come over visiting for hari raya! Okay bro. let’s cut this one short. I have to get me some sleep. Working tomorrow!

Alter: Alright. This is Alter signing out.

Adi: ciaoz!





p.s: the first picture was put there cos of popular demand. It has also struck the following conversation….

Haz: Your brother handsome. How old is he?

Adi: 17

Haz: Aiyah
too young lah. But never mind. Cos he handsome, I am willin to make some
exception.

Adi: then feel free to take a queue number.

Haz: Why?

Adi: he has lots of other girls wanting to know him. I think you are
like the 100 over plus girls.

Haz: then if I want to get to know his
elder brother working at Sentosa?

Adi: that one, you might have to wait
behind a longer queue. Cos unlike the younger brother who only attracts minahs,
the eldest brother attracts both girls AND guys.

KWang Kwang Kwang…

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Thank god for Hari Raya


Dear Readers,
I am feeling very thankful or grateful or blessed or whatever positive adjectives you could ever think of, for Hari Raya this year. Cos remember I said something about my phone spoilt, and then I lost most of the contacts. I have managed to retrieve back 95% of the contacts now. All because of Hari Raya. Most of my friends messaged me. And they have politely and kindly mentioned their name when I went along the line “Sorry I lost your contact when my phone got spoilt. Can I know who this is?”

I’m glad that even friends who have not been messaging me have messaged me Hari Raya greetings, and thus their numbers have been restored. Thanks Mathew for the sweet message and for being there during those hard times.

Thanks Adam for the job offer. I have to admit that it was a fresh change apart from those yearly Hari Raya messages you sent, just to pop out of the blue every year. You thought I didn’t notice, but I do. Hehe…

The Hari Raya spring cleaning have also uncovered a lot of things to be thrown away. First item on the list is my 6610i box.

Since the phone is gone, I thought I might as well threw the box away too. Second on the list is this bracelet I bought in KL.

It brought back bittersweet memories. I didn’t know I still had it! Bleah! Anyway, into the dumpster it went!

So yes. I hope Hari Raya would be just as blissful this year.

Yours Truthfully
Adi.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Meeting, Meeting, Meeting and shopping!



Adi: (smiles)

Alter: Had a good day I supposed?

Adi: Yes.

Alter: Care to elaborate more?

Adi: (takes a deep breath, while continue smiling). A few days ago, I received a call from Greg. He was like telling me that he wanted to throw a Halloween party, Rocky Horror style. So we had a meeting just now at Starbucks Raffles Place to run a few things over, like the costumes I would be wearing and the kind of food. But what caught me by surprise is that he was asking me who I was comfortable working with lah.

Alter: Huh?

Adi: Okay. Actually this is not the first time I was working for Greg. I have worked with him for another themed party of his called Christmas in July, which is basically a Christmas Party thrown in July. So during that party, I was dressed up as an elve. And with me was two other guys who was also dressed up as elves but one of them was asked to be the bar attendant. So this time around, he said he liked my style a lot. But the thing is he only required two person instead of three for this time around. And I happened to be his first choice. So now he asked me to choose another person whom I was comfortable working with. How cool is that?

Alter: So who did you choose?

Adi: It wouldn’t really matter even if I mentioned the name here right?

Alter: Come to think of it, you’re right.

Adi: But anyway, I chose the person whom I chose not because he has ripped arms, but more because he could mix drinks well.

AlteR: And he has ripped arms right?

Adi: That just happens to be a bonus.

Alter: Right.

Adi: It’s true. Anyway, after the meeting with Greg, I had dinner with someone whom I have not met for some time.

Alter: Who?

Adi: Let me give you a clue. Some of my friends saw him during Jiayuan’s dramatised script reading.

Alter: Who?

Adi: Zaid. I happened to chat with him a couple of nights ago. And we were like going somewhere along the line of “hey, long time no see” and things like that. And so looking at my schedule I thought why not we just meet in town for dinner, since I was already meeting Greg to discuss over the Halloween party stuffs over at Raffles City.

Alter: It al sounds a little too much of a coincidence.

Adi: It is. Trust me. And so we met, and we went over to Sakura for dinner. But this time around the food there was disappointingly sucky. And I have vowed not to eat there again, ever!
Alter: How about the date? As sucky as the food.

Adi: Hey. Come on. It was not a date. More like a catching up session. And yes, after the dinner, we kinda walked around Raffles City and Suntec City. Did I tell you what happened to my newly bought Black Mat-ish Fila cap?

Alter: Yes. You did make a mention about it before the program. You said something about losing it in an LRT?

Adi: Yes. It is so frustrating. Cos there is this one day I was late for work and I tried to squeeze into this heavily packed LRT. Ends up, my bag got caught in between the doors in the LRT, and the F-up thing is that the operator refused to re-open the door. In the end I had to sort of forced my bag off the doors by yanking it out. My bag escaped unscathed BUT, my Fila cap was trapped and there was no way of rescuing it. So on that day after the dinner, I told Zaid to help me go on a cap hunting. We went to a couple of Fila and Word of Sports shop but with no luck until we went into this Fila shop over at Suntec City. It was there that I found the same cap that I have lost to the LRT incident. Without much hesitation, I went to pick it up and paid for it at the counter, along with a new pair of sock. (smiles).

AlteR: I have also seen a new jacket.

Adi: Oh yes., I have also bought myself a jacket from a not-expensive Samuel and Keith. The thing I like about the jacket is that it can be work inside out and it has a very tribal design on one side of the jacket so that when you wear it, it looks more causal while the other side was meant to look a bit more formal. I LOVE the jacket.

Alter: I see. No wonder, someone has been smiling from ear to ear today.

Adi: Yup. It was a good day, and now it is time to sleep. This is Adi, with the picture of the day. The first few pictures are pictures I took while iw as on the cable car. The haze looks horri-gible!!! And of course the last one is a candid shot of Zaid…Just me showing off the newly bought n80. (smiles). Ciaoz!



Thursday, October 12, 2006

The WORKSHOP




Alter: So how was it?

Adi: How was what?

AlteR: The workshop at St Nicholas?

Adi: It was kewl! Okay we first started out with like a basic introduction as in “do you why we are here?” and “How can you tell if a person is Malay?” and my favourite question “Anyone here looking for a malay boyfriend?” which was followed by a prompt “EEEEeeEEeee…” But the lot was good. There were 50 students, but they were easier to manage than the Unity Primary lot, cos first of all, they disciplined and needless to say, they are brighter. Do you know that their school, despite it being a Primary School, is actually just as big as Ngee Ann campus?

Alter: Really? They have swimming pool and basketball court?

Adi: Basketball court yes. But not swimming pool. But still it was just as big as Ngee Ann. I still remember when I was in primary school, I got lost in school. And I couldn’t identify which staircase is to go for which classes. And at that time, my school, was only like 1/10 of their school. And even in poly, I still occasionally get lost too.

Alter: Maybe you are just a HIMBO!

Adi (glares) Just because I look okay and have a brain that is a tad slower than anybody else’s doesn’t mean I am a bimbo ok!

Alter: You admitted it yourself. On one of your September entry!

Adi: I did?!

Alter: Yes. September 3 to be exact.

Adi: Damn. That one must be typo one loh. Cos I am not a himbo. I think I don’t look good enough to make the cut.

AlteR: Suddenly I am so obliged to agree with you bro.

Adi: (glares)

Alter: Moving on, I heard there was a kueh tasting session?

Adi: Yes. There was kerepek and some kuehs for the students to taste.

Alter: How does the kueh tastes like?

Adi: (Laughs) That is trick question right?

Alter: What is?

Adi: That question about the taste of the kueh.

AlteR: Why would that be a trick question?

Adi: Cos I am fasting. Meaning I don’t eat the kuehs.

Alter: so you didn’t taste it?

Adi: Actually I did. Cos just now some of the kuehs got extra, so the person in charge gave some to me and the other facilitators lah. So just now, after breaking fast, I ate. Quite okay lah for the oh so low price. Yes. If anyone is to do last minute kueh-shopping, I recommend Raja Kueh.

AlteR: Raja Kueh mean King of Kuehs right?

Adi: yes. And it’s the name of the shop, situated at City Plaza. For a low price of less than $20, the kuehs actually tastes decent, and the pineapple tarts are quite good. So are the sugees. And you know I have never been a fan of sugees. But somehow, their sugess are oh so addictive!

Alter: Why are we digressing to kueh talking now?

Adi: I have no idea. (smiles).

AlteR: Okay. Let’s go back to talking about the class. I assume the session that you like most out of the workshop was the kueh tasting session then?

Adi: Nope. The session that I like most was the samping trying session. That is where I showed these girls how to use samping. It is so funny seeing how some of them really struggled with the samping! (laughs)

Alter: so you got to touch them?

Adi:m Eh. Please ah, I am not a paedophile ok. Furthermore, we are told that for the male trainers, we are not allowed to touch them. So no body contact AT ALL. I was supposed to show them how to wear it and then they are supposed to try out in groups, helping one another where it is necessary. Here is a picture of yours truly showing them the ways to wear a samping:




Here are some of the students struggling g with the piece of cloth also known as samping:




And here is one of the many successful students wearing the samping:


Alter: What are these bro?

Adi: Those are the pictures of the results from our Dress-The-Doll session., They are supposed to dress the dolls with Malay Traditional Costumes. Cute right?





Alter: I see that they are a buch of creative people.

Adi: Yes. Definitely grow to be very successful people they are. Amin!

Alter: Yup. Let’s hope that prayer of yours is answered and that these creative students and all the other students awaiting their PSLE results like these students of yours. May they all have a bright and successful future. And with that this is Alter signing out!

Adi: Ciaoz!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Ka-ching!



Dear reader,
This is just a short update to basically share one good news with you. Two good news to be exact. The first one will be that I have just been asked to help conduct a workshop in CHIJ St Nicholas, located at Ang Mo Kio. It would be a two hour workshop, showcasing the Malay tradition and customs. As the students here are Chinese and Indians (no malays), the principal finds it important for them to be exposed to the Malay traditions and customs. The pay is VERY good for a two hour workshop, that much I can say. But the best part is the project also involves the among the best theatre practitioners like Dalifah from TeaterKami and Gene Shah Rudyn (did I get the spelling right, I have a knack for misspelling people’s name)!

The second good news is that the management in Sentosa, have shortlisted me for an audition after the grim interview. If successful, I might be looking at a stable income every month, and still have the flexibility of venturing into the Arts scene!

Alhamdulillah. Let’s pray that our pintu rezeki will always be wide open.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

the Ipoh guided Tour



Adi: Bro. I am beginning to realise that my work is slowly beginning to evolve around children.

Alter: Really meh?

Adi: Yeah. First of all, I started getting offer to do one school show. This is followed by a string of drama classes to be conducted in primary schools. Then now, I have been appointed in Sentosa to be the host of a tour group, consisting of primary school students from Ipoh!

Alter: Uh-huh. So how did it go?

Adi: First of all, it started quite bad cos there have been some cock up in the planning by the management team. So me and this other girl were told to like play by ear lah. As in not to stick strictly to the schedule and try to change the timing here and there. And the management team was like very kan-chong spider lah, rushing and whizzing here and there, while my partner just take our time sipping frappucino from our so beloved Coffee Bean. Can I kind of digress for a while here?

Alter: Are you going to talk ab out the cute guy from Coffee Bean?

Adi: Yes. (smiles) Just a little information, the reason why I called the Coffee Bean, to be exact, just the one in front of the Carlsberg Tower, is because… (smile) I always get free stuffs from there.

Alter: Yes. Apparently some guy from the store is keen on impressing Adi and has decided to allow give him freebies from the store every now and then. So I assume the frappucino your partner had that day is free?

Adi: Yes. (smiles)I would have a cup too if it wasn’t the fasting month. Okay. So there I was fasting, and still expected to do the guided tour for these students, whom I reckoned to be more of hooligans than students. Not that they scold vulgarities. Okay maybe they are not really hooligans. Let me see. You have any other words?

Alter: Hmm… Let’s just say active children?

Adi: Okay. That sounds more like it. They are super active lah. Okay back to the story. Then me and my partner went over to the Sea Village restaurant where we are supposed to like sit with them and interact with them. Basically warm up to them before the tour starts. First of all, I cannot eat cos it was the fasting month. Second of all, I have to try hard to interact with these children who are very very bubbly by the way, without staring at their food or the mouth which is full of food.

Alter: (laughs) Okay go on.

Adi: So then when we first started the tour, there was like this big confusion. Cos there is this certain attraction that we were told they were supposed to go to. But somehow, they tickets did not reflect that. So I had to like call up almost the whole management before, we are like told that there was printing error on the tickets and thus they now will not have access to some of the attractions. And we had to spend like half an hour bumming around just to be told that. It was frustrating. Trust me. And I know how frustrated the students are. So I tried to calm them down with some you know the standard cheery songs and stuffs but it didn’t work. So in the end, I took some initiative and brought them to Anderson ice-cream shop. Down there, with a bit of charm and smiles, I maangaed to strike a good deal, where I could afford to buy the whole 40 odd students chi-chi ice cream from Anderson’s. Oh by the way this is the cue for me to say THANK YOU EDISON! Well. Thanks to my initiative and my charm, we managed to like see the smiles from the students again.

Alter: And then I heard there was another commotion?

Adi: Yes. Apparently, one of the students got missing while we are making our way down to another restaurant to have dinner. And the dumbest thing was that he didn’t carry any communication devices with him. So I had to search like high and low for him only to discover him coming out from a toilet nearby. Bleah! But I am glad everything went smoothly from dinner onwards. And here I would like to shout out a BIG THANK YOU to my partner KASTURI! During the whole ordeal, she has volunteered to like be the lead to most of the attractions, explaining to these little children about the various attractions. Yeah. She knows I was fasting and she was like kind enough to say “ Adi, never mind. I will do most of the speaking, you just help me to round them up.” So sweet right? But the sweetest thing she did was to wait for me to break fast just so that we can eat dinner together! So SWEEETT!!! THANK YOU KASTURI!!!

Alter: And I heard you are planning on giving her something to like thank her.

Adi: Yes. But we cannot say it here. Cos it is supposed to be a surprise! (Smile) Anyway, that is it for today. This is Adi saying ciaoz!

AlteR: This is Alter signing off with the pictures form the tour itself!






p.s: Look at the last picture. I had a temproray crush in that little boy in light blue t-shirt sitting second from the right. He is oh-so-cute AND such a gentleman! Unfortunately he is only 14. Bugger!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

First Day at Unity Primary School



Alter: Bro. you look tired and a little dishevelled.

Adi: Cos I’m tired.

Alter: But why?

Adi: As you know, we already are in the midst of fasting month right?

Alter: Yeah?

Adi: So all the hunger and dehydration is adding on to the exhaustion from work I faced from day to day. To make matter worst, today is my first day teaching drama in Unity Primary School, which by far the most uphill task in my teaching career.

AlteR: you mean they are not as angelic as your usual classes?

Adi: Precisely., Okay let me tell you the whole story. First of all, I was briefed that I shall be expecting only about 25 students. But when I came to the school just now, there were like almost 50 students, double the original size. At first I thought that there must be some kind of mistake, or that heaven has dealt me the card which is going to test my endurance and patience during this fasting month. After like gazillion years taken by the school to check up, they have confirmed it was the case of the latter. And like as if that is not the worse that can happen, I came to discover that the students are all from the lower bottom of the cohort, as in Primary 6D and onwards…to 6E and F and…

Alter: I think we got the idea. So how notorious are they?

Adi: I don’t know. On a scale of 1 to 10 they would have scored 11. and I always wondered where these kids get their energy from. I mean the lessons was almost towards the end of the day and they are all so energetic that I thought at the rate they are going they might just able to power up an entire HDB block with electricity.

Alter: You mean they are very hyper.

Adi: Yes. And for god sake, it is the fasting month. By the end of the lesson I was already croaking and on the verge of losing my voice. Which made me quite worried lah cos my voice is important mah. Without my voice how to work?

Alter: Sign language?

Adi: hmm… That would be quite innovative. After all I AM an interactive actor. I guess any form of interaction would have consisted as part of the job scope. But still I can’t help wondering how the hell these kids stay so energetic even though it was the fasting month.

Alter: I think it is just you getting old.

Adi: Maybe. That could be one of the reason. But none the less, these kids, despite their mischief, they are actually very creative bunch. Apart from having to raise my voice here and there, when they get too noisy of course, they kinda got along the lesson pretty well.

Alter: uh-huh

Adi: So for the first lesson we did some drama games, which got them all excited and jumpy and then we settled down to the fundamentals. And at the end of the day, when I kinda quizzed them on what they have learnt, they managed to answer all the questions with no problem and them being kids, they answered the questions with lots of enthusiasm. Some times a bit over up to the point that teachers nearby have to check what was wrong with the kids, cos they sounded hysterical. Anyway, I need to go and hit the shack now. So we call it a day?

Alter: Yup. This is Alter signing off.

Adi: And of course this entry would not be complete without the pictures for the day! Ciaoz!



Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Oh Shut up Bitch!



Alter: What a fancy name for today’s entry.

Adi: Yes. Today’s entry we will be featuring this little bitch who just can’t keep his mouth shut! A bootlicker he is.

Alter: why what happened?

Adi: Oh well. Let’s just say someone is a real try hard up to a point that he seems desperate. To know more, let us play this little playback…

Reel starts. Scene starts with Adi and Mr D walking into the interview room. Adi thought it was going to be a one to one interview. Little did he know, the interview was conducted in a way whereby in the room, there are two interviewers and two interviewee being interviewed simultaneously.

Interviewer 1 and 2: Hello.

Adi and D: Hello.

Interviewer 1: Have a seat. For the benefit of D, let me introduce the both of us. I am ******* and I am in charge of the creative side down here in Sentosa. So my job requires me to go around in search of new ideas to boost the liveliness in Sentosa, be it the Jazz by the Beach to the zookout party to the numerous Arabian nights. Thos
are all under me. I usually source out for performers, event companies etc etc.
For the miss over here, her name is ******. She is in charge of the development
in Sentosa. So she is the one who makes sure that we come out with new
attractions or when it comes to the old ones, she will think of packages to maek
them look attractive. There timez when both of us will come togethert and plan
out for new developments and the new musical fountain show is one of such event.
So just to be clear, both of you do know that you are here to first of all be
interviewed for the show, after which you will be auditioned for the show
itself.

Adi: yes. I think we are both well- aware of what we are getting ourselves into. (smiles)

D: But what is it all about?

Interviewer 2: Basically it is almost the same as the current musical
fountain show, except that this time we are going to have 7 characters. Have you
seen the current musical fountain show?

Adi: Yes.

D: I have not really seen the current one. But I did see a show which is similar in concept in Melbourne. I find that shows wh9ich combines performers with a large range of pyrotechnic works and the water can like provide a mirage of lighting
spectaculars. I find it quite impressive.

Interviewer 2: I see both of you have some background in theatre.

D: Yes. But for me, I am more well-versed to dance than theatre as most of my experiences veer towards dance and choreography.

Interviewer 2: I see. For Sentosa, we tend to expect that our performers to be very initiative. As in if you see your back of house area is a bit messy, we expect you to do something about it. Clear up your costumes and od basic housekeeping.

Adi: Understood.

D: I am used to that. For me I must say I am not the well-pampered type of dancer. When I got show, I will bring my own costumes, my own shoes, and I will make sure
that I will be there an hour earlier. So that after changing I can neatly put
all my extra shoes and clothes to one side. And mind you not many dancers do
that. They expect.. (bla blab la)

Note: he lost me over here. He was so damn long winded lah. It is like he is trying to hog on to the little limelight and like hog on to every little attention that is left of the interviewer.

Interviewer 1: (looking at Adi, who is obviously now day-dreaming/ lost
due to the long windedness of D). So Adi. If you are at a party, what role will
you be playing?

Adi: (startled, partly form the long windedness of D, thinking that D would somehow never end his yappings, and thus didn’t bother to pay much attention anymore till the last question suddenly brought him back from cloud 9 to the harsh gravity of this planet called Earth) Huh?

Interviewer 1: When you are at your friend’s birthday part for example,
would you be the one who host the event, or be the one cutting the cake or doing
the dishes or?

Adi: Can I be the one who comes out from the cake?

Interviewer 2: Can you describe more about it?

Adi: I don’t know. Depending on how receptive the crowd is, I might turn up wearing something raunchy like a G-string or sumthing and then do some dirty dancing and stuffs.

Interviewer 2: Is that all you would do?

Adi: Maybe do my own saucy rendition of a birthday song.

Interviewer 2: And then?

Adi: I will cut up the cake and serve everyone.

D: for me, I will usually try to liven up the crowd throughout the whole event.

Interviewer 2: (to D) So you are the type who will stay in the limelight throughout the event lah?

Adi: (laughs) for me I prefer not to do that. Some organiser might not like the fact
that you are hogging on to the LIMELIGHT and steal away credits from them. If
you realise in all events, the organisers prefer to be the ones to be highlighted. After all they pay good money for the publicity. So I don’t feel it is right for you to be HOGGING ON TO THE LIMELIGHT AND STEALING AWAY THEIR
PUBLICITY. And when organisers are not happy, you can kiss goodbye to your
little career in the entertainment industry. (smiles)

Interviewer 1: So if you are selected for an audition, you will be receiving an e-mail from us with all the instructions on how to get to the venue of the audition and what is expected out of you then. Is there any other questions which you would like to
ask?

Adi: No

D: Not at the monet, but I will be sure to mail you should I have any more pressing enquiries about the audition itself.

Interviewer 2: Alright. Ill see you then.


End of reel…

Adi: And throughout the interview I seriously felt this overwhelming urge to give the bitch a backhand and like say “SHUT UP BITCH!”

Alter: Kwang Kwang Kwang. And that is the cue for both of us to sign out.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

I’m not a Singaporean?!!



Adi: Bro. You know what? I have never been so pissed off at work before!

Alter: why bro?

Adi: Okay today at work there is this one bloody foreigner. He was like approaching ym station lah. And then guess what?

AlteR: What?

Adi: I was saying lah “where are you from sir?”

Alter: And then?

Adi: And then he was like coming to me saying “it’s okay, you can say welcome to me and speak English to em cos I am from Singapore. But then looking at you, I guess you can only speak Malay”. And I was like “No. I am a Singaporean. And in Singapore, if you haven’t notice, our government has insisted that we took English as a first language”. And he was like “No lah. From your clothes can tell you are Malaysian”. And then he gave me that patronising look and left off.

Alter: And then?

Adi: So me being me, not wanting to let things go, I rushed over to another station belonging to my friend and waited for the fucker. And once I saw him there, before I could even open my mouth, he passed another patronising remark on me. He was like saying “Why did you put you hand in your pocket? Isn’t it Malay custom for you to actually reach out your hand to guests instead of putting it in your pocket?” And with a smile, I told him “It is not a necessity for Malays to actually reach out our hands to every guests. Some of us prefer to welcome our guests with our smiles. And how do I know this? I am Malay or Melayu. Of course I would have known the customs better. Furthermore, if you noticed, the hand in my pocket is my left hand. We shake our guests’ hand with our right hand. left hand is for cleaning up our behind after we shit. Do you want to be shaking the hand which I use to wipe off my shit with? And by the way, since you are so persistent on yourself being a true blue Singaporean, then can you tell me where on Singapore can you still find kampong?”

Alter: I sense sarcasm…

Adi: Yeah. Anyway, that rude person just gave me a blank look. And I pushed on saying “ If you are a true blue Singaporean, of course you would have known that there are still kampong in Lorong Buangkok!”

Alter: Really ah?

Adi: Yes. But actually I also wouldn’t have known until I saw Ah Nian’s documentary. (smile). And then I went on, “so since you are from Singapore, which hospital are you born in?” and more blank look on his face. And I was like “next time, if people politely ask which country you from, just answer it politely. Don’t need to kao peh kao pu yeah?” And with another dazzling smile, I walked off, feeling triumphant. I know it is pathetic,m but I think he deserves it.

Alter: what if he compains?

Adi: I don’t think he would even have enough intelligence to complain. And even if he did, I think my employer would have been analytical enough to see how much on an anal that rude f*** is.

Alter: So that is it?

Adi: Yup.

Alter: this is Alter signing off.

Adi: Ciaoz.

Monday, September 25, 2006

25th September

Hello N80!

Alter: Why are you grinning like an idiot?

Adi: Didn’t you see the title for today’s session?

Alter: Uh-huh. What about it?

Adi: This is why I have been smiling all the way…

Alter: Is that the--?

Adi: Yes. It is.

Alter: N80?!

Adi: Yes. Ain’t it adorable, put side by side with my new laptop!



Alter: How much did you pay for it bro?

Adi: About $600 plus. (smiles) You know before this, someone, I can’t remember who lah, told me that his aunt was planning to buy N90 for him. But now looking back, I was thiking, who needs an aunt to get you a handphone when you have a paycheck which allows you to get an N80 and a $700 gift for you mum’s birthday on the same month. (smiles)

AlteR: So are you like the new rich kid on the block now?

Adi: not really lah. But it is sufficient for now. The pay I mean. Anyhow, that is not the only thing that kept me smiling. I just can’t believe my luck recently.

AlteR: Why?

Adi: Okay when I registered for a new line (using the old number of course, too many contacts under that number!), I gave the person who did the registration for me my NS Smart card.

AlteR: For those of you who has no idea what NS Smartcard is, it is like an IC with all your particulars. For your information, Adi always carries around his NS Smartcard instead of an IC.

Adi: Yup. Cos if you lose IC, you have to pay $100, but if you lose the Smartcard, you only pay $40. smart right?

Alter: (rolls eyes)

Adi: And upon receiving my Smartcard, the guy was like “eh, you under CD you got 20% off your bill every month.” And I was like “really?” and he was like “yeah” and so from now on, I will be enjoying 20% off my subscription bill. Can you like so believe that?

Alter: So are you going to use the money you saved off the bills to give me a treat some day?

Adi: Why just one treat when you can have treats? (smiles) Anyway, I think let’s call it a day now. I need to like study all the “gerek” features of the phone. You know? When I first bought the phone, it was just a mean to like show off to people who like looked down on me, who finds pleasure in my downfall. It’s like to tell them, fuck off. Life is definitely better now for me. But then I thought it would be a better show off if I like actually know how to use the phone. (smiles) But of course, I will never forget those people who has been behind my back and who has been supporting through my darkest hours. I felt so blessed having you guys as friends. Special thanks going to Jiayuan who went all the way to like comfort me and helped me through the months of that ugly break up. Audrey too… and Harlie. Another special mention to Tasha, who actually took the trouble to like meet me whenever I felt like life was too miserable to continue with. Another special mention goes to Cindy and Gillian who have endlessly provided me with listening ears. And of course shoulders for me to cry on. Thank you guyz. They say you are lucky if you have a handful of friends whom you can depend on. I am luckIER cos I have more than two handfuls!

Alter: And with that, this is Alter and Adi signing off…

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Who would have thought that running a thread on your jaw line could create the most excruciating pain in the whole wide world!



Adi: Bro. Look at this!

AlteR: Why are you asking me to look at your chin?

Adi: Look closely!

AlteR: Am I supposed to notice that it is shinier or something?

Adi: (sigh) It’s swollen!

AlteR: Now that you’ve pointed that out. Yes. I noticed that it is SWOLLEN! What did you do to it?

Adi: I went for the most painful experience I ever had in my entire life.

Alter: What will that be?

Adi: Threading cum waxing.

Alter: Wow! What a combo? Actually yes. I have no idea what threading is and what is the connection with the swollen chin and…I also noticed that your upper lips are also SWOLLEN!

Adi: This is what actually happened today. I had a day off today and I was like hooray! I finally now have the opportunity to like try out the much talked about threading. And so today, after working out in the gym, I have decided to like go straight to Clementi. Upon reaching there, I got a little lost and so I called up Audrey to ask for some direction to that famous threading shop. Despite busy being in class, Audrey had kindly directed me to look for some yellow banners situated outside the shop. Once I saw the banner as described by Audrey, I went into the shop, and asked if the person could do threading for me lah. You know for my jaw line and upper lips. And I got rejected sia! The woman said she don’t dare cos it would have been too painful! So feeling dejected and partly demoralised, I decided to give Audrey a call and told her about how I got rejected off the shop. While talking to her, there is this fat Indian lady, who must have EAVEDROPPED my conversation, suddenly approaching me asking me if I wanna give her service a try.

Alter: Service eh?

Adi: She meant threading service. Bro, don’t derail off the subject lah…

AlteR: Okay. Continue.

Adi: And so I said okay. When I went in, she advised me to instead try waxing on the jaw line and threading on just the upper lips. She said threading the whole thing would be too painful for me. And I was like whatever is for best. So the torture began.

Alter: Sounds very kinky!

Adi: Not if you were to see me on that dentist-look-a-like-chair. The moment she was threading the left side of my upper lips, tears were already rolling down my cheeks. When she did a bit of threading on my lower lips, I was already crying, silently that is. And while she was waxing my jaw line, the bunch of hairdressers was already looking at me!

Alter: A bunch of hairdressers?

Adi: yeah. You see, the shop is shared by a saloon and the lady who does threading. And they had that you know, the oh-my-god-that-must-be-so-fucking-painful expression in their faces. And I was like… I AM THE ONE ON THIS CHAIR BEING THREADED HERE…LIKE HARLOW!! Yeah. Anyway. After the whole ordeal, which by the way felt like ages…

AlteR: How long did the whole process took bro?

Adi: About 45 minutes in total.

AlteR: is that like fast?

Adi: Super fast. The last time I did my own waxing, it took me like 2 hours and still I failed to totally remove all the facial hair! But this lady removed every single traces of hair on my upper lips and jaw lines in 45 minutes flat! She was charging me like $13 for the whole thing, but I was happy enough to give her $15! Anyway, after the whole ordeal, I was supposed to bring out mum and my bros out for dinner at Sembawang. And me and my 4th bro, you know lah what usually happens when the two of us were to go out together. Mayhem dok! Thrash talking and crappy lame jokes all the way. But today, I can’t even smile let alone laugh loudly cos the moment I tried to smile, the upper lips ached like mad! My face was like so CRAMMED! It’s like as if I had dozens of BOTOX into my face!

AlteR: I can imagine that. That constipation look.

Adi: but still I felt satisfied. The pain and tears are all so worth it! Cos now, I can look forward to days and days and even weeks without shaving!

AlteR: So do you wanna like do a little promotion for that threading place.

Adi: yes. I definitely recommend it to all my readers. Just drop by. It is the shop NEXT to the shop with the yellow banners! You just cannot miss the yellow banners in CLEMENTI! TRY IT! If you got lost, you can give me a holler and I would be more than happy to guide you there!

Alter: Alright. I guess that is it then for today.

Adi: Wait bro! I realised I haven’t thank Audrey enough for taking time off from teaching her class to PATIENTLY give me direction to the shop. Yes. I must stress the word patiently. Cos I was like a bit blur on the directions given. And she has slowly and patiently guided me through the clementi area till I found the place. THANK YOU SO MUCH AUDREY!!! Okay. Yes. Now we can end the show. This is Adi signing off.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Third letter by my laptop



Dear reader,
I think the laptop saga is now finally over. I don’t think there is anything much that my suicidal laptop can do now. You’ll know when you read this final letter by IT:

Dear Adi,
You are one heck of an arsehole. If only there are stronger words than arsehole, I would have used it on you! Here I am. Lifeless. My face disfigured. My side-liver (the thing you used to play your fucking (literally) DVDs) is no longer functional. And my central nervous system all fucked. But do all this stop you from being an arse?! No! apparently now you have decided to extract my brain and put it in some metallic compartment and have it preserved. And THEN you just plug me in to some other weird devices and my cousin, the TOSHIBA model something something with INTEL CENTRINO processor! I just cannot take it anymore. Just wait till I managed to device a way to once and for all, end this. For now… I’ll just wait in this fucked up container!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Happy birthday Mum!



Adi: Actually this entry is to just commemorate… Is that the correct word? Or is it celebrate?

Alter: I think it is more of celebrate. Commemorate is to like remember something which is no longer there.

Adi: Oh I see. Okay. Yes. (clear throat)
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Mum.
Happy birthday to you.

Alter: By the way, how old is she?

Adi: Oh I can’t really tell. She might just kill me. You know how women are. You know with the age sensitivity and all.

AlteR: Okay. I heard that there was a $700 bracelet include din the stash.

Adi: Yup and of course a dinner. I was thinking of bringing her to somewhere grand. But she insisted on eating in this coffeehouse at jurond west. Oh well. Whatever makes her tick.

Alter: Don’t we have any pictures for the occasion.

Adi: My digicam was away for repair. And my phone isn’t working. So no photos for the occasion. Bummer!

Alter: Well. This is Alter signing out.

Adi: And this is Adi saying Ciaoz!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Third letter by my laptop



Dear reader,
Okay. So we have all established the fact that I have or rather had (which ever suits IT) a suicidal laptop. But the third letter…it really ….i am at lost of words now, so I shall just upload the whole letter now….

Dear Adi,
I was sure that there is god up there (am still sure). And I am right. For he has given me a resolution to end all this. There has been some virus lingering around on the net. All I have left to do is to infect myself with one of them, and I shall be on my way to the land of no return. I am laughing my hearts out right. If only you could see. All I have to do now is to wait for you to log on the net for one final time and it would all be over. Sayonara!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

What kind of a seducer are you?



Adi: Actually you know what?

Alter: What?

Adi: I had done and posted this quiz up back then.

Alter: It doesn’t hurt to have it done and posted up again. You know. It just works like advertisements. Once in a while you just have to repeat the same old story again to re-fresh your audience and help them recall and tell them that it has always been the same and the quality is still there.

Adi: Oh. Okay then. Anyway, one of the question kinda caught my eye.

Alter: which one is that?

Adi: This is the question, “What's the best way to snare a stranger you are attracted to?”
And these are the choices given…

1. Notice a few things about him / her before you make your move. Once you've figured out what you can offer, you'll go over.
2. Start a conversation with him / her, asking lots of good questions - and giving out a few complements now and then.
3. Smile, look away. Repeat. Your goal is to get approached, not do the chasing.
4. Look at the person, smiling innocently, hoping he'll / she'll notice. If not, you'll approach with a super playful comment.
5. Stare intently at the person, making your availability know. Then walk up and say something to make him / her feel sexy.

Of course needless to say I chose…

Alter: I know what you chose. It is so typical of you to choose 4, cos you never do the chasing. And your idea of wooing a girl is to ask her once, and then if she gave you a lukewarm response, you just moves on. You don’t even try hard to get her.

Adi: Wah! You really know me that well.

Alter: I’m a good observer.

Adi: I think that is it for now. But before signing out, I shall just post the result for the test I did a couple of minutes ago. Ciaoz.

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Goodbye 6110i



Alter: Eh bro. How come the title for our show today is so depressing?

Adi: Cos I am quite depressed.

Alter: About what?

Adi: About my phone.

Alter: Why?

Adi: Okay this is what happened. About two days ago, my phone has been like creating problem. It would sometimes suddenly show a blank black screen and sometimes, out of the blue, it would switch off itself, even though the battery is at the full strength. And now it finally like drew its last breath, and then I now cannot switch it on again. This is so DEPRESSING!

Alter: You have my condolences bro.

Adi: This is so not funny.

Alter: I didn’t say it was

Adi: You were implying

Alter: How would you know what I was implying?

Adi: I just know!

Silence for 5 seconds…

Adi: And you know what’s more depressing? I really felt like a HIMBO!

Alter: Woah! That is like the discovery of the year!

Adi: Minutes after my phone was spoilt, I freaked out. And you know what came to my mind?

AlteR: I don’t know. Since you said you felt like a himbo, I guess the only thing that came to your mind was probably, what colour should I changed this wretched phone into so that hopefully it can die with vogue!

Adi: (glares)

AlteR: Or maybe you were thinking “oh no! My phone cannot be caught dead in this scratched silverfish old looking casing”.

Adi: (glares)

Alter: Pun so intended (Laughs)

Adi: Sometimes I think you just have a sick sense of humour! By the way! The thing that went through my mind was..

Alter: Was?

Adi: Can you stop interrupting? You had your say liao! Now my turn to speak, kapish?! Anyway, I was thinking “Oh no! All those pictures that I have taken over the years! I have not transferred them! ARRGGHHHH!!!”

Alter: (stares)

Adi: IT’s only like the next day that I realised that I have lost something more important in that phone!

Alter: And what will that be?

Adi: That I have lost all the important contact numbers and a couple of addresses for shoots for the following week!

AlteR: (look at Adi) That is HIMBOTIC of you!

Adi: Sigh.

AlteR: You know what. I think we should call it a day. You should go and take a break. This is Alter signing out for myself and on behalf of Adi, who is apparently too depress to even sign out at the moment.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Debut in Teaching



Alter: The title sounds quite grand.

Adi: (laughs) I guess from here it does sound a little pompous. But essentially I just want to tell our readers out there that I so-called broke into the DRAMA-TEACHING industry. Or more or less like that lah.

Alter: Okay. That sounds more pompous than the title itself.

Adi: Okay. In short, let me try to make this sound as humble as I could. I have finnaly been hired to teach drama. Yes. Albeit to a primary school student, but I guess everyone has to start somewhere.

Alter: Okay tell us how it all happened first bro.

Adi: Okay it al began today. Or rather a week ago. Some friend of mine was too busy and had his schedules clashed. So he asked me if I could cover this camp in which he has to sort of facilitate lah. It was this holiday camp for kindergarten kids. So I agreed to help seeing that my schedule wasn’t that tight this month. And then I guess the person up there kinda liked my style so she officially offered me a freelance teaching position. So for today I am a facilitator. But next month, she wanted me to teach primary 4 kids drama. And one thing led to another, I just agreed to it. It was quite exciting during the camp. So I guess I was hoping for more. Plus I have been trying out to teach. But without much success you see, till now that is.

Alter: So you are now officially a drama trainer too.

Adi: Well….I prefer to just say I teach drama in primary schools. I mean this experience is all new to me. And I can’t really say much considering that the camp facilitator thingy is just a time off, and then the teaching at the primary school. Well, it was just my first official assignment. So yeah, I guess we have to see what the future holds for me. (smiles)

Alter: Well. I do hope teaching drama to primary school kids really works out for you. Congrats once again. This is Alter signing out.

Adi: And this is Adi signing out with pictures of all the cute kids that I met during the camp today. Oh by the way, the kid in yellow t-shirt is my favourite student. He is sooo cute and very…. (sigh) he is just cute lah. Bleah! I sound like some psychotic paedophile, which believes me, I am not!







Sunday, September 03, 2006

Second letter by my laptop



Dear reader,
Days after finding the first letter written by my dearest, beloved laptop, I’ve found the second letter, neatly placed under it. And I don’t know. I just find the whole business getting more depressing than ever. This is what it said:

Dear Adi,
Everything WAS according to plan. EVERYTHING. All I had left to do was to hurl myself out of the fucking locker and it would have ended. Me down there. Smashed to thousand pieces. But NO! You have to messed up THE plan by sticking out your foot on the floor, blocking me from the floor, cushioning the impact. As a result, my screen is badly shattered, but guess what?! I am still fucking alive!!

Like the current situation isn’t bad enough, you just had to make it worse. Adding salt to my wounded pride, now every time you feel like using me, you have to pair me up with some strangers who called themselves monitor! Fuck! I am being fucked by multiple monitors that so badly hurt my holes. All nine of them!
Cheebye! I don’t know how long this humiliation is going to last, but I sure the GOD up there will deliver your retribution soon
!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Farewell to Gill



Adi: Bro. I think for the last entry about my present work. I accidentally left some things out.

Alter: And what is that bro?

Adi: Quite a few stuff actually. Like for example this cute tour leader, whom I can’t really remember his name, asked for my number. The first guy to ask my number there. I freaked out and gave him a fake number.

Alter: Is that really blog-worthy?

Adi: How about those Thailand women who occasionally come up to me to ask for my number. Is that blog-worthy, no?

Alter: No.

Adi: How about my character’s name?

Alter: What about it?

Adi: Well. You know my character’s name?

Alter: Maman?

Adi: you know how it got to that name?

Alter: How?

Adi: Okay. On my first day working in Sentosa, the dudes over there asked me to think of a character’s name which matches the whole kampong theme. So I told them Adi. And they were like “no, you can’t use your own name” and I was like how about Ali? And they were like “Ali has been taken by one of the guys” and I was like “Ahmad?” and they were like “It’s the father’s name” and pointing to the fatherly looking wax figure. And I was like “what sia should my name be?” And iw as thinking and thinking and finaly I sigh and say “Maman” and they were like “BINGO” and now I am stuck with that character’s name loh.

Alter: And I also heard one of your conversation with the Indonesian man.

Adi: Which one?

Alter: Let’s play this reel to recall


Indonesian Middle-aged Man (IMM): Anak ni namanya siapa?

Adi: Nama saya Maman.

IMM: Oh. Anak ni dari Indonesia.

Adi: Tidak. Saya orang Singapura. Tapi bapak saya berasal dari Indonesia.

IMM: Kok bapanya dari Sumatera ya?

Adi: Saya tak tahu pulak. Dia Cuma cakap dia dari Indonesia.

IMM: Ini pasti bapanya dari Sumatera. Justeru namakan anak Maman.

Adi: Mungkin begitu lah agak nya. Ah. Ni dah larut malam dah ni. Nanti kampong saya naik gelap kang, pakcik dah tak boleh balik. Lebih baik pakcik pulang sekarang. Sehingga ketemu lagi ya.



Adi: (laughs) That was like my third day at Sentosa.

Alter: Are you comfortable with your character name?

Adi: It irks me at first but after six months of being stuck with that, I guess I got used to it.

AlteR: Six months? That fast?

Adi: Yup.

Alter: Look at you now. All grown.

Adi: Older? Is that what you’re about to say?

Alter: Talk about fill in the blanks.

Adi: Bitch! Anyway, a lot of things have changed lah. But one thing still remains the same. When I speak in Malay, my colleagues still find it funny. I don’t know why but they say it sounds weird when I try to speak in Malay.

Alter: Really?

Adi: Yeah. And the scary part is this coming Sunday I am having a call back for one of the auditions I went to. And guess what?

AlteR: What?

Adi: It is in Malay lah sial!

Alter: Must be the MAT ascent issit?

Adi: I don’t know. They say it is like I am neither here nor there. Stuck in between.

Alter: Not a girl but not yet a woman?

Adi: Something like that… HEI!

Alter: Moving on…

Adi: What are we supposed to talk about today ah?

Alter: According to the script (pause and refer to script), it says just go with the flow.

Adi: Go with the flow?

Alter: I thought you wrote that.

Adi: I did? Okay… Err…. Okay since we are talking about my workplace, why not talk about one of my colleague?

Alter: Which one?

Adi: Gill!

Alter: Oh. The one who got you the job?

Adi: Oh yeah. I haven’t said how this girl has gotten me the job. Okay. Here is how the story goes. As you all would have known by now, I was the so- called the second batch of talents recruited in Images of Singapore(IOS). I was supposed to be in the first batch, but iw as too busy at that point of time, so I messaged Gill telling her that I am not able to come for the first round of audition due to school commitment. And I asked her if it is still possible for me to apply upon graduation. And she told me to update her once I graduate. When I messaged her after I sat for my last paper, she arranged for Jalyn Han to audition me immediately. And long story short, here I am six months later.

Alter: And if you have no idea who Jalyn Han is, she is a veteran actor. She was under the tutelage of Kuo Pao Kun, and one of her most recent work was Salsa Salsa Salsa where she acted alongside Sharon Ismail and Peggy Ferroa.

Adi: And I would like to take this opportunity to thank Gill for all her advices and her words of comfort whenever I am down (this lady can tell if I am feeling OK or otherwise just by looking at me!). Life at IOS is dull without her 1001 lame/ corny jokes. I especially like the walking monk joke and the dwarve joke. (smiles). And I would also like to wish her the best in life. And yes, break a leg for that Vietnam film and do still keep in contact after moving to Boston ya!

Alter: She is leaving Singapore?

Adi: Yes. Her last day in IOS is August 31, 2006, W=which is like yesterday.

Alter: And Adi would also like to share pictures from the so- called last supper at Seoul Garden.

Adi: Eh! Macam tahu ajer kau.

AlteR: What?

Adi: nothing. And here are the pictures in no particular order of which one I like most;


My boyfriend for the day.

AlteR: Is that all the picture you have for the “last supper”?

Adi: Yeah. Cos most of the memory space were used up photo- whoring during working hours before the last supper. And here they are;









Alter: The last picture looks awkward.

Adi: Why?

AlteR: I don’t know. (smiles)

Adi: whatever lah. This is Adi signing out. Ciaoz!


Monday, August 28, 2006

28th August

First letter by my laptop



Dear reader,
I am quite upset. I have just found the following letters written by my own laptop. I shall now published one of his letters written hours before his leap of death from my locker. I will publish more of the letters in the blog soon.


Dear Adi,
By the time you found this, it would have probably been too late. I would have probably smashed into thousands of smatterings. The leap of faith they call it. Or kamikaze is what the Japanese uses; a term of endearment in their country. But rest assure that my purpose or intention is very different from theirs. The truth be told, I am sick of it all. I am sick of you.

For the past three years, or two years plus- plus almost to three years, I have been of service to you. I have been misused, abused and mistreated and ill treated. Three years or what you call it two years plus- plus almost to three years I have been producing documents after documents, almost without any breaks. Three years or what you call it two years plus- plus almost to three years, I have followed you almost everywhere you go, even to the toilets (in school that is). Yet there was no thank you. You don’t even take proper care of me. Every time you put me in that dark bag of yours. I bumped to different types of hard objects. I am scratched and chipped at the sides. My adaptor was overloaded. My DVD drive is screwed because my sides are always hit against some unidentified-hard-objects! My battery is punctured and I am feeling fatigue all the time without my adaptor!

Like all those sufferings are not enough, I have to endure you nightly pornographic materials from Nurse Nicole to Doctor D! I am always made to feel dirty almost every night as you upload porn onto my monitor. I even have to endure the sight of you jerking off to these god forbidden materials!

Like that is not bad enough, I have to also endure your god-given vainity! Oh my god. The thousands and thousands of pictures of you, You and YOU! Almost every angle of your face is covered. Side ways, longitudinal, horizontal, you name it, you have it… the picture angles that is. To top of all that, you have an equally vain boyfriend. I am so totally diguted by the numerous pictures the both of you have! It makes me sick! All so lovey- dovey, what the malay say, lebih indah khabar dari rupa! Ugh!

Okay. Enough lamenting. Now is the time for me to kick start my plan. When you open you locker, I would jump off the locker and land on the floor all broken into different parts. And that will be the end. Zilch! Goodbye to you! And goodbye to these painful memories. Goodbye to this fucked up life!

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Third letters usent



Dear readers,
ME and Alter are still going through the script for our next episode of our show. In the mean time, I have written two whatever-you-wanna-call-it-be-it-a-poem-or-structured-ramblings-thing-y for your entertainment. So please do be patient, and keep you spirits high always. Chiaoz!

First written thing-y:

Stop with your little
“I MISS you”
“I LOVE you”
“I DREAM of you”
Cos it is starting to wear off
Revealing nothing but lies.
You could have called
Or sms-ed or sent me an email.
For GOD’s sake, there is MSN.
But instead you just choose to only say what you say best
Only when we met… Accidentally
Or when you are feeling lonely
Needing some company
Calling me up sounding all needy.
I’ve been down this road a couple of times
I know where this turn is gonna take me to
Don’t take me for a fool
Just because I choose to believe your cheap words
Just know that with every words spoken
I see your true self
It takes one to know the other
It takes one to bring down the other…



Second written thingy:

I just laugh this time around
Your excuses of confusion ain’t
Buying you my time ain’t
No more cos I ain’t
Gonna be wasting myself on you.
I have played this game way before you do
So why don’t you stay alert
And maybe you can pick up some new tricks
That you can play on another.

Are you feeling lonely tonight?
Do you need me to keep you company?
Do you need my comforting words?
Or do you just feel like calling me up?
If you are still as confused as you are,
I don’t see what you’re still doing here
I no longer have time for you now
So do yourself a favour
And just walk away.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Another Letter Unsent



Dear Readers,
I have read a few articles which features me. I shall quote them and share it with you:

went to work today after so long...wow..see so many new ppl...tink i throw my own face again..coz i see light in back of house...so i tot it mux be someone i know inside n i went
in givin a very loud n enthu n long 'hello!'. n i realise in e room was no one i know..all new colleagues..ahaha..n they look at me blankly..mux be tinkin tt i mux be some gundo...haiz..nvm..anyway was shock by adi..haha..can't believe he can be so gentleman...help me carry laptop n pull down e rope 4 me..n he gt gd massaging skills..haha..but still feel lik chopping him..everytime i see him..he'll sure try to hunt guys 4 me coz he say i very poor ting..no bf..KAO..ok la..i know i'll be left on e shelf la..but no choice wat..cannot force ppl to wan me wat..bleah!!!!
” - From my sister, Cindy, 27th july 2006.

I must admit, when I saw Adi last night I was shocked to see a diamond stud on his left ear. And I kept trying-not-to-stare-but-failing. I can imagine Adi laughing out loud while reading this. But why was I so disturbed? I think it has to do with me seeing Adi as a big-brother figure, and all along I've felt that he's a conservative kind of guy (okay, so not-so-conservative now huh, diamond stud and all), and I feel that a diamond stud on his left ear is very un-Adi.”- From Harlie.

I have also added a few new links. If you’re the type who likes to read intellectual stuffs, I suggest you click on Desmond Wee. If you are looking for something g wittingly funny, click on tinkertailor.

P.S: Do back read some of the posts as there are some posts which are only available recently BUT dated quite a while ago.

Sincerely (though some may argue otherwise)
Adi.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Letter Unsent



Dear readers,
As a former Mass Communication student who had teachings on PR before, I have decided to put it to practice. Recently, there have been some bad air which goes against the content was published in the earlier dates. Therefore, I have decided to write this letter as part of my PR effort in damage control. The letter is long and may be confusing at times, but trust me, “those who persevere with unwavering faith will succeed” (this is taken from one of the script I acted in).

Actor ( k t r) is a theatrical performer. There used to be Actor and Actress to define gender. However, due to the recent attempts to bring equality and avoid any form of sexual discrimination, the word actor is now applied to both.

Slut (sl t) is A woman considered sexually promiscuous or a woman prostitute or a woman who sleeps around with other men. However, in order to bring equality and avoid any form of sexual discrimination, the word slut should be applicable to both genders.

Slut is too strong a word. Therefore I should restrain myself from using it.

Manipulate is to influence or manage shrewdly or deviously.

All definitions provided by dictionary.com.

By this time, you would have probably started to scratch your head due to the randomness of this letter. It doesn’t even sound like a PR letter, does it? Well, in actual fact, it is, cos I said so.

I attended a play, a double bill to be exact- National Language Class/ Utama: Every name in History is I. In the discussion at the end of it, an audience pointed out that it is impossible for a person to re-tell the whole history as it is as this will be too time consuming and too long winded.

For example, say I saw Audrey in Orchard Road. She was wearing a black tight top and a tight black mini skirt and high heel boots with crepe all the way to her knees. Her hair is long and is tinted. She was wearing Gucci sunglasses and carrying an LV on her wrist. Then I met Harlina and told her I saw Audrey. Of course I wouldn’t go to Harlie and say “I saw Audrey in Orchard Road. She was wearing a black tight top and a tight black mini skirt and high heel boots with crepe all the way to her knees. Her hair is long and is tinted. She was wearing Gucci sunglasses and carrying an LV on her wrist.” One reason is because I have short term memory. I wouldn’t be able to remember what she wore by then. Secondly, I only see the importance in telling Harlie that I saw Audrey in Orchard Road.

This is what we call the auto summary skill. We are born with it. We naturally emphasize what is, in our perception, important and leave out the rest of the details which we deem as unimportant. That is why most intellectual people will read news from different sources to confer the information that was reported. Cos even though news is supposed to be neutral, sometimes, the reporters tend to omit certain details, which they thought are unimportant, rendering the news to be biased at times.

I shall quote Paul Rae, director and writer, “When you re-tell a story, the story might change in its entirety. You might subconsciously omitted details which are essentials…”

When writing this blog, I meant to present my perception, what is in my view is important. There is no intention to manipulate anyone. I believe my readers have god given eyes, ears and brains to see, listen and think for themselves and therefore will not be easily dissuaded by what was written here.

It is probably my fault for not providing my readers with any form of conferrals, thus rendering my writings biased and seemingly manipulative. I shall not repeat this mistake again, and thus I shall now present you with the first conferral. This is the blog which will tell you the other side of the story written here. I have also made the links available under the title conferral.

I find that it is despicable when someone brings in a dead relative into an argument/ quarrel/ disagreement. It is more so, when this piece of information is told in confidence. Of course, if I were to be, I shall quote, “the type who pays an eye for an eye”, I would have quoted on the stories his mother told me- stories of how his father beats his mother up and then runs to his grandmother for protection. The grandmother, in turn, spoils his father by blaming everything on his mother.

I could have also quoted of how he said that he didn’t want to get married for fear of following his father’s footstep- get married and impregnate a teen and then go fuck around with Batam women. The irony is he ended up sleeping with a married man who is expecting a child. At the end of the day, instead of following his father’s footstep, he has decided to follow the footstep of those S**** from Batam.

I could have said all that and quoted all those mentioned above BUT I should not. And I would not. Cos I believe I still love this person and I still have a soft spot for him. The last thing I wanna do is to hurt his feelings or see him cry again. I shall pray that he finds happiness and be blessed with love always.
To end this letter, I shall just give you some updates which I have not been able to post up here:
1. I’ve tried epilating my beard and oh-my-god! It hurts like hell! I was crying when I did this.
2. Had a couple of er-herm sessions, or should I say consultations with a doctor-to-be. But stupidly I popped the question and now doctor disappeared liaoz.
3. Alex is somewhere. I don’t know where. Faded liaoz.
4. Am seeing a dancer. In 6 months, had been seeing from an Engineer to a doctor- to- be and now a dancer aspiring to be a nurse. Colourful eh?
5. My phone crashed. Am still trying to salvage the contacts though.
6. Latest commercial shoot was for National Health Board. Do look out for it aightz!

Plug out the light and take your ride to that destined place.

Sincerely (though some may argue otherwise)
Adi.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Thing w/ Yahn



Alter: Hey bro..

Adi: Yeah?

Alter: I realise something.

Adi: What?

Alter: Why are you being so nice to Yahn?

Adi: Huh? What you mean?

Alter: Just look at your tagboard. That bitch is obviously being mean. And yet you just gave him a nice reply.

Adi: Aiyah. If you know him hor, you also can’t help but to sympathise with him. I mean he is very the unfortunate one loh. But before we delve any further, let me just make a few disclaimers here:

1. I have nothing against Yahn. In fact, I think he is a kewl dude.
2. After he left the tag, I was compelled to go and check his blog. And I found that he has a radio blogs full of PCD’s songs. I have gone to his blog on a daily basis since then.
3. I would also like to apologise to Yahn for giving him the cold shoulder through our sms “conversation” recently.

Alter: Why is he unfortunate?

Adi: Cos if you notice hor, this Yahn is very much a loner. He doesn’t really have friends. And his father has just passed away, or so he says.

Alter: Oh. I also noticed that he is not really, how should I put this…

Adi: Yes. He is not really that… uhh.. Good looking I supposed.

Alter: yes. That is the word I was about to use. I mean just look at this picture he puts up…

Adi: Oh no bro. we should not put up his pictures here. I mean. Yes. We should really heed the government’s advice and be nice to the less fortunate people. You know this include those people who don’t look good.

Alter: But have you seen the pictures he posted on his Fridae account? He looks…

Adi: okay bro. we shouldn’t really insult him about his looks. I mean it is god given. There is nothing much he can do to it you know…

AlteR: I guess what I am trying to say is that, if you already look butt ugly, there is no need to accentuate…

Adi: I believe the more appropriate word is “aggravate” as opposed to “accentuate”.

Alter: (laughs)

Adi: Bro, that is a fact fort he matter kinda thing. A run by the mill.

Alter: I get what you mean. It shouldn’t be or it is not meant to be funny right?

Adi: Yes! Please we should at least try to like you know, be nice to him.

Alter: Alright.

Adi: Anyway, I already know the reasons why he dropped by my blog. In fact I am gonna do the list.

Alter: Do the list?

Drum rolls…

Adi: The 5 most likely reasons why Yahn dropped by adislayer.blogspot.com

1. He discovers that adislayer.blogspot.com has quite a rating. So he decides to steal some of the readers here to read his monotonous, otherwise non-happening blog.

2. He just wants to make his presence felt, so me and my friends will know that he is still alive and not dead by the roadside.

3. He wants us to reminisce those days where he still aspires to be an architecture as opposed to being an architect.

4. He wants to show us that he is living in a free country. So he ahs the rights to drop by any blog he feels like it, and leaving behind comments as and when he wishes.

5. He is just trying to be fridae friendly, if you know what I mean.

Alter: Thinking about it, I find it to be quite true. I mean, you can always leave behind your comment on the tag, without leaving behind the address to your blog, yet Yahn never fails to not leave his blog address behind. It is like as if, he wants people to go click over the link and go read his blog.

Adi: I can guarantee you that he will soon blog about me. It is so his style one. He will first leave a comment on my tagboard, together with the address of his blog. And he will keep on tagging till I write about him. And then when I write about him, he will respond in his blog. And then he will leave a tag saying “hei, I wrote or respond to your blog”. That is soooo him. Sooo unoriginal. Soooo the predictable.

Alter: I heard he also wrote in to arts community looking for writers to co-write a play with him or something?

Adi: I don’t think he can make it lah. I mean so unoriginal and so uncreative. Oh my god, I just realised something.

AlteR: What?

Adi: here I am preaching to you to be nice to Yahn, and yet I am like pointing out all his bad points.

Alter: but that is a good thing. By doing so, at least you give him an inside on what he has to improve. That is doing good to the less fortunate.

Adi: Okay. But anyway, to help him further, I have decided to sort of promote his blog lah. Yes. Readers of adislayer.blogspot.com, do drop by Yahn’s blog. I do drop by his blog nowadays, cos it has this cool song by Nelly- Maneater and PCD- Buttons. Rashad, if you are reading this, you should drop by Yahn’s blog. Got PCD leh! Oh by the way PCD is PussyCatDolls.

Alter: I have dropped by the blog too, and therefore I see the importance of giving the readers some precautions so as to avoid them being disappointed at the end of the day. So here are the pointers you should take note when dropping by Yahn’s blog:

1. Do drop by his blog with an open mind and heart- don’t constrict yourself with unnecessarily high standards of writing.
2. You should not read the blog when you are feeling stress, cos his blog is anything but a stress buster.
3. Don’t expect anything cheam like “…transcends the chronological order of being.”

Adi: You mean deep stuffs like Kundera?

AlteR: Yes.

Adi: Aiyah. That is not that important I guess, cos one of the reasons most people read blogs is to be entertained. And let me tell you, Yahn’s blog is very entertaining. And with that, this is Adi, signing out.

AlteR: Peace out!

Adi: Did you just say peace out?

Alter: YES!

Adi: (smiles)