Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Alter first solo show: 50 messages You find in Adi’s SMS inbox

Alter: Yes. That is from our dearly beloved Adi. He is not available at the moment as he is busy with his daytime job being a small time actor at Sentosa, Graduation Ceremony, Dates, Birthday celebrations and of course as you can see in the picture, his latest production, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. The picture looks very blur at the moment and Adi has promised a more decent picture from the production. He called in just now to say that the first week of the show was great. The show had close to 600 audiences. And the casts are starting to bond really well. For those of you who missed the show today, don’t fret. There are still 7 more runs to go and here are the details:

24 & 25 June- Choa Chu Kang Park, opposite the condominium near the MRT station

25 June- Pahlawan Beach at 2pm.

1 & 2 July- East Coast Park, thought no specific location has been mentioned.

8 & 9 July- Pasir Ris Park.

All performances are at 6pm, unless otherwise stated.

With that out of the way now, yes. For the next few episodes, Adi has finally given me the authorisation to host the blog on my own, while he settles his own stuffs. As this is really a last minute notice, I was at first stuck with no topics to talk about. And about three minutes later, I was still talking on what we should be talking about today. 10 minutes later, I saw IT. Right there lying down, begging me to pick it off the desktop and just, should I say borrow some informations from IT. Adi’s HANDPHONE. Right there. Lying helplessly on the deaktop while I invade its little thing called privacy. So, today’s topic shall be, Adi’s 50 undeleted messages in his inbox! Let the ball roll…

18-04-2005, Zaid: N one more thing. Not trying to sound mushy… I guess I miss you so much… Miss seeing u in person, miss seeeing ur mat’s attire and most of all miss being around you.

Side note: Accroding to Adi. This is the past. Now he keeps the message just to boost his ego of the number of fans he has back then. According to some reliable sources, including Adi himself, he is no longer in contact with Zaid.

19-04-2005, Zaid: Know wat… Am listening 2 the spider song “Relaku Pujuk” n it’ll remind me of how fast I leanrt that song and sang it to u though pitchy. Haiz dunno y I think abt u constantly… Wondering how u r… Have u eaten n wat sort… guess I miss u dearly… dunno y am I soattach 2 ur well being. K la take care B-)

Side note: Accroding to Adi. This is the past. Now he keeps the message just to boost his ego of the number of fans he has back then. According to some reliable sources, including Adi himself, he is no longer in contact with Zaid.

21-04-2005,Goh T J: U so happy say bye bye to ur gf. I dun wan to disturb u mah. So wat u doin lately?

Side note: Accroding to Adi, the Goh tot Harlie is his GF cos he sent Harlie off at the bt panjang bus stop after a drama session.

1-5-2005, Adam Aznil: U attached?

1-5-2005, Fahd: Rindu ah kat abg!! Ok lah nak kua dah ni bye!

25-09-2005, Edwina: My house adress is dover parkview condo. BBQ pit no 9.

Side note: Just in case Adi has a side project that needs to be covered up with a made-up-BBQ.

2-11-2005, Del Pierro: Selamat Hari Raya and belated Deepavali!

11-1-2005, Faizal: Sial jer

Side note: Yes. The Mat language! Rock on!

14-01-2006, Ian Wong: Hi. U acted very well juz now…very entertaining & funny

23-01-2006, Sahruddin JW: Argh only that? Go have proper lunch la. Roti where got filling? You at the gym now?

Side note: Awww! So sweet and caring!!

26-01-2006, Mak: Selamat Ulang Tahun!

26-01-2006, Rina: Hey Adi. Juz drop by 2 wish ya hapi b’day! Have a gr8 day ahead. *smile*
26-01-2006, Farah: Adishmadi! Happy twenty-err…is it 23rd? 24th b’day? 24th rite? Ok, let’s do this again…HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY ADICAREY! Wait. It’s today rite? Or r u 26? Nvm..have fun!!

16-02-2006, Weiliang: Good night dear dear… Sorry bout today…I wanted to talk to ya end up I feel so tired again…stupid me… anyway it been nice to hear baby’s voice again…hee…it was really wonderful chat we had…should have called earlier next time…take good care and we’ll talk tommorrow k? I promise…loveya so so much…hugs…

Side note: That has got to be the sweetest messages ever!but they are just not meant for one another… I know…sad…

22-02-2006, Aishah aka “Horray horray gang- basher”: I don’t know. But you didn’t give me any reason NOT to like you. Anyway we’re friends what so why should it matter…besides, I don’t even know you.

Side note: This is a case of beating around the bush!

22-02-2006, Aishah aka “Horray horray gang- basher”: Dude, let’s get honest here k? I think both of us are playing it safe. So just keep it that way ya? Thanks. :)

23-02-2006, Mathew: Ah cool! Okie will hear from you my fren :) nice to see you again. Good nite!

28-02-2006, Mathew: haha yes u remembered haha yes I think it was 1999. u must be a good player now?

28-02-2006, Mathew: I see. I only drive when I am in bed. Hehe. Kidding. I dun drive. No licence lei.

01-03-2006, Jiayuan: Hei dear! Hope you’re feeling better today

01-03-2006, Harlina: Adi! Hahahahahahhahaha! Tak leh angkat! The bahasa baku and all!

Side note: This is her remarks for one of Adi’s voice over project which was broadcasted on Suria on that day.

08-03-2006, Beep:U having audition in sentosa todae rite? Good luck!

08-03-2006, Gill: Hi mahadi! U at the audition yet? Good luck! I am at the museum.

Side note: That was Adi’s audition day before he got the job with Sentosa.

12-03-2006, Mathew: haha sorry wrong dear, I am wearing light green t-shirt. In train though. Wrong person hehe.

17-03-2006, Cindy: haha wat a smart ans…creativity 100%!! Haha…nvm 1 la…as long as u’re in character, sure no prob…u leave deep impression in her memory…wow! Congrats! Hahaha…

Side note: This is on Adi’s second day at Sentosa. He was questioned by one of the higher authority there on the kampung and stuffs. He panicked for a while but managed to keep cool after a while.

22-03-2006, Eunice: Hi team mcm! I’ll be meeting u tmr at kallang mrt station at 12pm. Attire is red tee and shorts.

Side note: Adi’s first ever experience participating in a dragon boat race, representing Mass Comm students!

23-03-2006, Ah Nian: Kau mati… Kau late! Haha!

27-03-2006, Johnathan: Yeah. Definitely man. I’ve been single for 2 years already and I’m so enjoying my sex. So there.

Side note: This is a so called a comforting session after the big break up was confirmed!

27-03-2006, Johnathan: I’m topflex. The point is you’re not gay till you have sex with a man. So go out there and look for one loh!

28-03-2006, Alvin: For fun. Why I walk past u nvr sing me bday song?
06-04-2006, Jobelle: That’s nice mr cheerful!

17-04-2006, Johnathan: October 16. Remember that with all your life.

17-05-2006, Joyce: I think you have found my perfect husband. Are you for real? When can I have a sneak preview of this mystery lover?

Side note: this is after Adi told her about Mr X. Just an update, she saw Mr X last month.

17-05-2006, Good. But older guys are better. Maturity counts what. I still can’t believe you’re gay.

Side note: Another update. Things are not working out between Mr X and Adi. So now they are just friends.

19-05-2006, Alvin: Wah so gd inform me. K I sayang u. wahahaha

22-05-2006, Jeremiah: *hugs back* haha not tht gd bro… feeling kinda sick n all…on e way 2 sch nw…den missed a lesson in the morning cos overslept cos too tired…suay sia bro….gd to hear thngs r gg great with ya. :)

27-05-2006, Jeremiah: oh sorry bro. I hav 5 links… history, basics, tactics, art and quiz…btw tmr we still meeting up?

17-06-2006, Mr F: you are welcome Mr Prince!

18-06-2006, Mr F: ape ajer tak payah excuse lah nak jumper lagi… bile u rasa macam nak jumper call me, we can arrange.

18-06-2006, Adam: Any plans?

18-06-2006, Jiayuan: Eh chee bye! Wat time u finish acting?

18-06-2006, Harlina: hei i sent your photos to your gmail acct

18-06-2006, Adam: want to come my house?

18-06-2006, Gill: goodness. Last min cancel like that? K k hehe see u then! I’ll be in at 11 cos seeing doc at 9. feel very ill today. :(

19-06-2006, Mr F: Guess where I am right now

19-06-2006, Mr F: now having tom yam at al ameen

19-06-2006, Mr F: of course I ade. The first thing on my mind cause people will lokk at my hands.

19-06-2006, Mr F: you too. I have enough sleep but still sleepy. Must be the lunch and weather.

29-06-2006. Jeremiah: Yea bro…26th showing in cck park rite?

20-06-2006, Alex: Hope to c show with u again…

Here is also a disclaimer: messages appeared according to the dates, not in order of importance. And I will be hosting this show solo, till Adi comes back in the next few days. Hope you have enjoyed my solo show so far. This is Alter signing out!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Flaming Entry

Sometimes we wonder
Where you’ve got the energy and time
To scheme

There have been occasions
Where I barely have time to even eat
There have been incidences where I am too tired
And sleep is all that I need
All the morning rushes
And evening drives
The movies
The dinners
The dates
Friends, birthdays, special invitations to special occasions
And gym
And jog
And of course work.

Which makes us wonder
How did you manage to find time?
To scheme
To Backstab

Adi: Wow! That must be one of your longest speeches ever.

Alter: That is a poem written by our dearest creator of adislayer.blogspot.com. Give it up for Adi!

Adi: (laughs)

Alter: Just out of curiosity; is the poem meant for anyone in particular?

Adi: No one actually. I wrote it in, I guess, out of… I don’t know. Aiyah. It just popped in my head and I wrote it loh.

Alter: However, if anyone feels the pinch, instead of feeling angry at our beloved Adi, I think you should reflect the poem upon yourself and maybe change a bit about yourself or something.

Adi: (laughs) Bro. Stop insinuating things. I already had enough speculations going on in my life.

Alter: Oh. Like what?

Adi: Okay. The thing I don’t get is why people like to speculate about me. I don’t seem to be able to get near to anyone without getting speculated. Like back then, there were Yati, then May, then Harlie, then Rahman, whom of course everyone by now knew that we got into a relationship which lasted only 9 months.

Alter: So, who are you speculated with this time bro?

Adi: Aiyah. Recently hor, I have decided to join this theatre group called the Wayang Warehouse. And then I got close to one of the casts there lah. And there was this one time, where both of us coincidentally could not turn up for rehearsal on the same day. I was caught up with work, and he was having some family problems. And then according to some reliable sources, people in the production of Snow white and Seven Dwarves were talking about us loh. It is quite irritating lah. I mean back then kena gossip. Now outside also kena gossip.

Alter: You are so scandalous. That is why. I mean a lot of people think that you are a flirt.

Adi: no. they think I am a natural flirt cos, and let me quote someone, “I flirt without even knowing”.

Alter: Really?

Adi: The thing is sometimes, I thought it was just a friendly gesture. But I didn’t know other people perceive it differently. Sigh. Anyway, that is not the thing which I find very disturbing at the moment.

Alter: What do you find disturbing at the moment bro?

Adi: There is this particular person who suddenly appears very chummy with me on the tag board recently leh.

Alter: bro. Can you be specific? We don’t want anymore speculation here, do we?

Adi: Okay. Fine. There is this person called Ros. I find it very strange that she should suddenly still be reading my blog and now appearing to be all chummy on my tag board.

Alter: Why is that so strange bro? I thought you guys are quite chummy to one another what? Just take a look at this picture. See how chummy they are:

Adi: That is different. You know there is this time, somewhere around February to March, after the break up, when I was trying to work things out with Rahman.

Alter: Yes?

Adi: During that time, Rahman said Ros congratulated him for dumping me on my birthday.

Alter: Bro. I thought we have established the fact that you were the one who initiated the break up. SO, technically you were the one who broke off with him.

Adi: Aiyah. We shouldn’t complicate matters mah. If he told everyone that he dumped me, we should just follow suit and go according to the flow. In this case, his story.

Alter: Okay. Going back to the congratulating part, What else did he say?

Adi: According to him, Ros was saying that she is proud of his actions. And that she doesn’t see why he should be sticking around with me.

Alter: She said that?

Adi: That was what he told me. And at that point of time, I was like thinking, how could she even say all those and still remain so chummy to me. I felt like I have been backstabbed over and over again with that little sword Uma Thurman used to kill Lucy Liu in Kill Bill.

Alter: Are you about to cry again?

Adi: Yes

Alter: Here. (hands over a box of tissue).

Adi: I mean I felt so betrayed!

Alter: But I am sure Rahman could have made all that up.

Adi: That is what I suddenly thought right now. So my plea to Ros. Can you please verify if whatever he said is true? Did you really say all those mean stuffs behind my back? I know those are all in the past. And that is why I need confirmation cos I rather have the pasts remain in the pasts. I don’t need people who have backstabbed me to stay as my so called “friend” now. I really just want to leave them all behind like the way I left Rahman.

Alter: Yes Ros. Please do us all a favour and verify your innocence or guilt on the tag board. Moving on.

Adi: By the way, can we not name today’s entry as Flaming Entry.

Alter: Why?

Adi: What if our readers find the entry not flaming enough? They might thought that the title is just some gimmick to like gain high ratings.

Alter: don’t worry about that. Cos just for your info, adislayer.blgospot.com is doing pretty okay, clocking more than 600 hits in less than 2 months since it re-opened in May. Now, let’s talk about something which is more, should I say current, like the world cup. Do you watch world cup bro?

Adi: Nope. I don’t see the point to.

Alter: Why?

Adi: you know that we now have this school for sports right?

Alter: Yes?

Adi: And you know that we have this 2010 vision for the sports arena/ field, no?

Alter: Yes. So what have this got to do with the World Cup?

Adi: Bro. Look at us. I don’t think we are even anywhere near the goals set in the 2010 vision. And let’s not even talk about world cup. Our team can’t even beat Thailand or Korea.

Alter: And you don’t think we can make it by 2010.

Adi: I don’t think so. And the thing that I don’t get is how can we lose out to third world country like Thailand in sports. I mean we lose out to china in Table Tennis. We have to import Indonesian to play badminton for us.

Alter: I heard that mountain climber also not from Singapore.

Adi: Yes. And last time, I remember that I was very timid. And I still think I am very timid now. But whatever it is, last time, I used to remember coming home crying and telling my mum that I got bullied. Instead of getting sympathies, she caned me and she will always say this to me “You eat rice, they eat rice. Why must you be scared of them?”

Alter: You poor thing!

Adi: Now let’s use that logic on the sporting arena. We eat rice. So do the Thais, Indonesians, and China people. But how come, they seem to be producing more abled sportsmen? Let’s not even go to supplements. I think in Singapore, the sportsmen could afford enough supplements to last them an entire life span. But still we don’t produce sportsmen who are as good as those in our third world counterparts. How come?

Alter: So dear readers, if you think you know of any logical explanations to this, do put it on the tag board.

Adi: Yes. Let’s listen to some of your opinions and suggestions on how to improve the standards in sports of Singaporeans.

Alter: By the way, I heard you saw a gym in Bangkok, Thailand?

Adi: yes. And it is actually this abandoned basket ball court, with no air conditioning with rusty bar bells and dusty benches. And yet, these people really were very serious in working out. And I can tell that from the bulging muscles and the almost going to explode veins!

Alter: Ooh. That is very vivid.

Adi: I learn from the best. I learn from none others than one of the best writer: Palahniuk. His books are all very vivid in descriptions. I like. Very gory at times! And guess what. I have just learnt the meaning of felching. “Felching is when a man fucks you up in the butt without a rubber. He then shoots his load, and then plants his mouth on your anus and sucks out his own warm sperm, plus whatever lubricant and faeces are present”. And that was an abstract of his book.

Alter: Very vivid indeed. Not to e read before or straight after lunch or any other meals for that matter.

Adi: Yes. So vivid, I usually get a hard on reading his books.

Alter: Bro. that is sick.

Adi: Can’t help it, but let me explain myself with the backing of a scientific finding: Most men think about sex on average of about 2 times per hour. And you know what’s the funny thing?

Alter: What?

Adi: In the part about felching, nothing was mentioned about ripped muscles, or chiselled chests or steel buns. I mean it could have been two fat men doing IT. Two old fat retirees with nothing to do. So out of boredom, they felch each other.

Alter: eugh!

Adi: But somehow, my brain has selectively filled in the gap in the description with this mental image of two well built, chiselled chests, six packs and well groomed hair and good looking men felching each other. Strange huh?

Alter: I know what you mean.

Adi: (sighs). And that should wrap up the whole entry today.

Alter: but before we sign off, here is a little info for those who love watching drama or performances for free. Adi will be acting in Wayang Warehouse- Play in the Park Series: “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves”. Tell us bro. What is your character?

Adi: Aiyah. I actually very shy. It is actually a small role. I play as the Prince.

Alter: The what?

Adi: Prince. I know. I don’t think I even have any quality of a prince. And I get really squeamish especially when the narrator reads out, the phrase a “handsome young prince”, cos as mentioned like million times before, I don’t think I look handsome or cute or anywhere near those adjectives.

Alter: You have got a point there bro. Moving on, here are the details of the venues and dates:

17 & 18 June- West Coast Park, near Mc Donald’s

24 & 25 June- Choa Chu Kang Park, opposite the condominium near the MRT station

25 June- Pahlawan Beach at 2pm.

1 & 2 July- East Coast Park, thought no specific location has been mentioned.

8 & 9 July- Pasir Ris Park.

All performances are at 6pm, unless otherwise stated. Please bring down your whole kampong and lend support to Prince Adi.

Adi: (laughs) Yes. Any kind of supports are greatly welcomed. Oh yes. Before I forget. Here is supposedly the picture of the day:

Yes. This boy tapped my shoulder when I fell asleep in the MRT just now. And then he tried to imitate my facial expressions. He managed to imitate all except one.

Alter: And which one will that be?

Adi: The one where I will raise only one side of my eye brow. He tried and tried, but without much success. (smiles)

Alter: And that is our Adi. And here is me. Signing out.

Adi: ciaoz!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Of Male nurse, Crushes and Touching Moments

Alter: Bro did you just cry or something?

Adi: Yes.

AlteR: Why?

Adi: Something happened?

Alter: Like?

Adi: See. My parents. They are not very biggie about going to my performances. My dad; he is working. My mum, she says she will not understand. But they never really complain much about my involvement with drama, except of course during the time when they suspected that me and Rahman had something on lah. Then out of anxiety they asked me not to be too involved with drama. Apart from that, they never really make much noise. So when a friend asked me if my parents have always been supporting in my involvement, I told him that I guess that was the way my parents show their support towards my work in the theatre stream.

Alter: How do they support you again?

Adi: by not making noise about it., and my mum was asking if I was going to look for a job with CPF deductions, and I told her that at the moment I just want to work with Sentosa first, cos I get to do what I enjoy, which is basically acting.

AlteR: And how was her reaction?

Adi: She seems cool about it. And my dad even offered to help me pay for my laptop, the older one that is.

AlteR: And?

Adi: I politely decline. I told him to save the money for himself since I have enough income to pay for the laptop myself. Speaking of which, I have also compiled a list of goals I wish to accomplish by the end of this year. As you can see, I have already accomplished the part on paying both Audrey and Min back $180 for the Thailand trip 2 years ago. And I know this is very overdue, but I guess better late than never. Thank you to the both of you for trusting me enough to lend the money to me back then.

Alter: Bro. Before we deviate further, let us go back to why you were crying just now.

Adi: Oh yes. Back to my parents, they have never even attended those ceremonies where I went up on stage to receive prizes from principals. Then about two days ago, my dad approached me and he asked when is my graduation ceremony? And I told him that it is going to be this 15th June, Thursday. And then he asked for the time. And I was like around 10 am. And then I went on to ask if he was planning to attend. And he said he will be applying off for that day to attend the ceremony. And I was like…

Alter: Are you about to cry again?

Adi: Yes. I was so touched. Before this I was already mentally preparing myself not have anyone attending my graduation ceremony. But I guess I was wrong. I am going to have two most important persons in my life attending my graduation ceremony.

Alter: Okay okay come come. Don’t cry anymore. You should be happy, right?

Adi: Nah. I am just overwhelmed with emotions.

Alter: Here. Come take this tissue.

Adi: Okay. I am okay. Let’s move on to the topics to be covered for today.

Alter: Are you sure you are okay?

Adi: Yes. In fact, that made my week… Alright, What are we supposed to be covering today again?

Alter: Wait. Let me check the script. Oh yes. We are supposed to talk about Johnathan, tha male nurse.

Adi: Actually, I wanted to invite him over. But then again, he was all the way in Brunei. And it is difficult to get in touch with him due to his service to the nation. So I have decided to just talk a little about the little conversations we had back then, when he came back to Singapore.

Alter: I heard you messaged him when his grandfather died?

Adi: Bro. The correct word is “passed away”

Alter: Oh yes. Passed away.

Adi: Actually I didn’t even know that his granddad passed away. Then JY messaged me that day to inform me about it lah. And she was like “why don’t you send your condolences?” And I did. And then he replied saying something along the line “he is okay… not even close to his granddad… heard about the big break up”.

Alter: So he heard about it?

Adi: Yupz. And he dishes out a few advices lah. Like go out there and enjoy your singlehood. Enjoy sex. Go cruise! (laughs)

AlteR: And?

Adi: And I kinda heed his advice. And I met Mr X. And we are still dating right now. He is still pampering me as usual.

Alter: Good for you. So lucky!

Adi: and someone just told me straight in the face. Okay wait. Not really straight in the face lah. Actually, through an SMS, declaring the fact that he has a crush on me. On top of that, there is this guy who lives across the road from my house. Let’s just call him R lah. The weird thing is that we live so close to each other but we have never met. Then yesterday, I received an SMS from him which read “Hei. Where are you now? Are you at LRT station?” And I was like “how come you know?” Then he said he was a the oppsing side of the station waiting for LRT going to Bukit Panajng, while I was taking an LRT towards Choa Chu Kang MRT. And he was like “I thought the pictures were hot, but little did I know tat the real person is hotter”

Alter: (laughs)

Adi: Yes. Unbelievable right? I mean let’s take a second to just look at this picture

I mean, what is so hot about this face?

Alter: Yes. I am wondering too. By the way, when did you take this photo?

Adi: Last Thursday. Anyway, whatever it is, Thank you for all the compliments I guess. I appreciate it. Now let us all say AMIN to that. SO hopefully one day, I really become hot.

AlteR: (laughs)

Adi: Bro. That was supposed to be serious religious talk.

Alter: OH. Sorry.

Adi: Okaylah bro. let’s make this a short one. Then we go Al Ameen for supper. Aightz? Oh yes. Before that, I recommend you all to go read Johnathan’s blog. He is a very good writer. So do dig on him yeah? His link is on the side panel. This is Adi. Signing out. Ciaoz

Alter: Jumper lagi!

Adi: What was that??

Alter: got too influence with the kampong boy character. (laughs).