Thursday, September 18, 2008

In school, they will call my act PLAGIARISM, that is with a capital P. But i just cannot help it. This entry is too good to just be let go like that. And thus, i did and therefore i am. PLAGIARIS-er, with a capital P. IS there such a word? Whatever it is, do indulge in the following entry they way i did...

Brand and Product Names that may not do too well with Singaporeans and Malaysians

Building up your brand or product with a memorable and striking name is essential, but a name which works well in your country or region may be taken out of context in another part of the world. The brand name Siemens surely invokes sniggles among teenagers of the English speaking world.

Here are 36 which I could think of at the moment, in the part of the world I live in. Do let me know if you know of any other!

Name of Product: Softlan
What is it actually selling: Fabric Softener
What it sounds to us: Lan, in the Chinese dialect Hokkien, is the Penis. And having a Soft-lan, in certain situations, is definitely not a good thing for both parties.

Name of Product: DBI-Sala
What is it actually selling: Fall Protection Equipment in the Construction Industry, selling Body Harness, etc.
What it sounds to us: The Malay word Salah means wrong, and when you're talking about body harness and how it's supposed to save your life in case you fall, you so do not like it to go wrong. DBI-Sala products probably don't do so well in the Construction Industries of Malaysia and Indonesia.

Name of Service: Pukii
What is it actually: A savings plan, catered for children, created by The Shanghai Commerical and Savings Bank. Also, the little piggy mascot's name.

What it sounds to us: Puki, in the Malay Language, is the cheebye, which is, in clinical terms, the Vagina. With TVCs such as these, you'll have the children of China singing the jingles which goes puki-puki-puki, kawaii!, while in another part of the world, sputtering the same word could earn the Malaysian/Singaporean kid a smack across the face from their parents.

Anyway, Check out the Puki City as well.

Name of Company: KOTEH Auto Sales
What is it actually: A Canadian Car Sales Company
What it sounds like to us: KOTEH is dick in Tamil. Indians in Canada must have giggled.

Picture Credit: Becca Sutton's Flickr

Name of Company: Wanko
What it is actually:A clothing line of Veeko International Holding Limited, Hong Kong. (Source). Executive wear, catered for women in their 30s.
What it sounds like to us: People in English speaking worlds would tell you: to wank is to masturbate, and though it's an activity people engage themselves in once in a while, no one enjoys being called a wanker. Much less tell people that you work in a place called Wanko.

Wanko has opened several branches in the shopping malls of Singapore, so you'll have people like my poor chinese-educated mother enjoying the smart executive clothes, totally clueless. And no, I can't explain it to her. I don't know how to say " to masturbate" in Mandarin.

Name of Company: Pondan
What it is actually:Manufacturers of Baking Ingredients from Indonesia. Here's their website.
What it sounds like to us: Pondans are how the Malays call transvestites, and sometimes, effeminate men. Nama Salah lah, brudder.

For more intellectual entries, do drop by Jiayuan's Blog

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Letter from the Management

> Dress Code:
> 1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
> 2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will
> assume you are
> doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
> 3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so
> that you may
> buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
> 4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and
> therefore you do not
> need a raise.
> Sick Days:
> We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you
> are able to go to
> the doctor, you are able to come to work.
> Personal Days:
> Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called
> Saturdays & Sundays.
> Bereavement Leave:
> This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead
> friends, relatives or
> co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the
> funeral
> arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is
> necessary, the
> funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow
> you to work through
> your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
> Bathroom Breaks:
> Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict
> three-minute time
> limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the
> toilet paper roll will
> retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your
> second offense, your
> picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic
> Offenders' category.
> Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's
> mental health policy.
> Lunch Break: (Love this one)
> * Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that
> they can look healthy.
> * Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> maintain their average figure.
> * Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed
> to drink a Slim-Fast.
> Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a
> positive employment
> experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> frustrations, irritations,
> aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations,
> consternation and input
> should be directed elsewhere.
> The Management

Sunday, September 14, 2008

From the Start till the End

Some of you may have known about my latest relationship with this person by the name of Amir. We got together on the 17th December 2008, 2 days after we met each oither. We broke up on the 15th March 2008. That is how far most people knew about the relationship. And i didn't talk much about it as i was still grappling with the whole issues pertaining to the relationship and I was having difficulty. When i finally blogged about it, it was like 4 months after the relationship has ended. Nonetheless, I still update this blog accordingly, in respect of the so-called sacred dates. However, i find it hard for the readers to navigate thorugh the whole blog just to get the whole story. So, as the writer cum producer of this bliog, i have decided to compile everything into one entry (of course you may choose to navigate aroun the blog, shd you feel adventurous and wated to find out more)for your erm... reading pleasures. (i know some people find pleasures in my pain, we need not mention who, of course). Just a little reminder, read the entry with a pinch of salt. It is after all, from my point of view, and i might therefore tend to sound biased. Do feel free to approach Amir for his side of the story. Apart from this, feel free to read on...

the start of a blossoming love

published on 19/12/2008

Taken from friendster (22/11/2007):
AMAC wants to brighten your day with a smile. Check out AMAC's profile and send a reply.
A message from AMAC:

And then Adi replied (22/11/2008):
hello back at ya.... hehe

A message from AMAC (23/11/2007):
haha.....btw u cute...haha...
anywae u str8 or...?

Then Adi replied (23/11/2008):
thnks dude..i swing both

A message from AMAC (23/11/2007):
btw...hav u been to pwrhse b4??
cuz u look familliar actuaily....

Then Adi replied(27/11/2008):
nope...nvr been not really a clubber...

A message from AMAC (30/11/2007):
ouh must b wrong person.....soowieee....btw add me...

A message from AMAC (6/12/2007):
btw...senang2 nak mit...........?

The Adi replied (7/12/2008)
Sure. Anything you can just call me at 91******.

Adi and AMAC chatted for a while and then they met on 16/12/2008
They got attached on 17/12/2008.
Then they have established that Adi is Spiderman and AMAC is Jean Grey.

A message from AMAC (19/12/2007):
saaaayaanng! lup u so much!
take care k...
lup u my hero......
jean grey!

Then they further established Adi as MAriah Carey and AMAC as RIHANNA.
They began their wonderful relationship on the 17 December 2007.

Our first outing

published on 22/12/2007
this is taken from our very first outing at Cathay!

Our first picture as a couple.

Happy birthday SYG!

Tired. Yet happy. Celebrated SYG’s birthday. So i just let the picture do the talking for today...

And of course the little video...

The present i gave syg! Happy birthday syg! Lup u many many!

The Break-up

published on the 16.3.2008

The break up happened through a series of SMS exchanges and a single phone call...

Amir: Wuah daa pandai tinggalkan and high note kat org. Org mcm u aru kite tahu... dapat baru lamer u buat macam sampah.
Amir: ok...nape i tak leh bangkit citer lamer, u bole. U ingat i bodoh. Tak pena masok kedai AX skg u daa pandai... ape untok cine tu kan? Eh, org mcm u i daa tahu ur true color.
Amir: jangan nak belitkan citer... i tak pernah and sound pasal AX ke ape kat u. Nape u tibe tiba? I know AX cine nyer fav brand.
Amir: I m so dispointed. U daa mcm gini takpelah...u slamat ngan Kenny. Send my regards to him.
Amir: I gip u tym to choose me or Kenny? Watever ur decision is gud or bad, i respect. I nk u fikir masak masak. I takmu perkara ni terjadi like last time. U hv to make a clear decision. Tink through it.

Amir: Oo! Abeh caya. Bodoh nah! Btw, aku puas dpt kikis duit ko. Sebenarnya motive aku nk bodok bodohkan org pandai mcm kau. Tak sangka boleh bodoh kan kau easily.
Amir: Bodoh ko bodoh nah ke tak tahu mane juboh masne puki? Wake up bitch!

Post Break up

Published on 05.06.2008

After the break-up, Adi and Amir still contacted each other. Adi tried to patched things up, but Amir kept on sayin that he is not ready. Adi and Amir then made a pact; that if either of them should find someone they want to settle with, they should inform each other, so that no one will be waiting in vain. But along the way, Amir suddenly went DEAD, until one day...

Amir: Awk. How r u?
Adi: I am fine. Thank you.
Amir: Awk kita no longer werkin at aldo tau. So kita da takde pat vivo.
Adi: oh. Abe hawk keje pat mana skrg?
Amir: Kite mintak admin kat DHL. Entah can get or not.
Adi:So skrg nie u menganggur?
Amir: Yeah. Sebab kerja i rabak ah. I nak mintak off pun susah. Then i kena keje almost non stop. When i apply urgent leave terus diorang terminate i cakap attendance poor. Btw, did u find sumone oredi?
Adi: Nope.
Amir: Oh ok.
Adi: I know you are attached already?
Amir: Mana awak tahu?
Adi: Sumone lah told me. Sumber yang boleh dipercayai.
Amir: Saper awk? I bukan nyer popular sey...
Adi: Ade lah...
Amir: Awk, bilanglah awk. Pls...
Adi: Not important ;ah who told me. Yang penting u happy with the person u r attached with.
Amir: K la. I dun force u. Awk tahu, my father tak habis habis seh bising pasal i tak keje. Dier asik cakap pasal future lah semua keluar.
Adi: Maybe dia nak ngok u jadi father yang responsible one day.
Amir: I jady father. Haha. No way i tak akan kawin awk U...we still fren rite?
Adi: Yup.
Amir: I takmo lost contact with u.
Adi: Insya’allah tak awk...

Post break up part 2

Published on 28.7.2008

Through SMS-es...

Amir: Awk. Am i a bad person?
Adi: Erm.. i think you should know yourself better. Do you think you are a bad person?
Amir: I think i am ok jer.
Adi: Ifyou think you are okie, the you are okie loh. Cuma i nak tanya one question. Asal when you got attached you nvr tell me? I tot we made a pact to inform each other if we have moved on so that no one will be waiting for another in vain. But when you got attached, u din tell me. U made me wait for you like a fool.
Amir: Cos my BF said u haf an affair with Daen when we are still together.
Adi: Wat?! Me adn din we r just colleagues. I did not even do anything with him after wat happened last year. I m so disappointed. I tot u knew me better.
Amir: No. Because info dier semua betul.
Adi: Whatever. I hope you are happy with him now.

And then days after that, Amir and his new BF broke up. I guess what goes around comes around...

p.s: Hopefully this marks the end of the whole thing, cos seriously, this is one of the most tiring relationship ever.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Puppetry workshop ended

YAY! I just had my last puppetry workshop a few days ago. Am very proud of them little ones. And btw...thanks MR Hairul for taking over two days of classes for me. Here are snippets of their puppetry shows... Enjoy!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Things that I have been pondering

Sometimes I wonder why does some people like to criticise but they find it so hard to accept criticism? Doesn’t it work both ways? When you criticise people, you open up avenues for yourself to be patronised and criticised. If you feel that by criticising others, you are trying to improve them; then shouldn’t you accept criticism so that you too can be improved?

Does it make me a bitch if I speak up my mind? If i speak of what i think is the truth, i would be labelled a bitch. Why would people prefer to embrace hypocrisy? You know the all smiles-and-then-i’m-gonna-bitch-about-you-behind-your-back-attitude. I have seen how “best friends” bitched behind each other’s back. Why the preference for a facade?

Why do people like to preach and not practice what they preach? I have friends who speak about how when you drink, you are not allowed to fast. And HE speaks of the sins of being a homosexual. And SHE speaks of the sins of being a homosexual. Yet they drink. They smoke. He had premarital sex before, or what the muslims would have termed as ZINA. His best friend has piercings which he adores. Isn’t that what we called shubahat? I think I was blessed with pious parents who have educated me well in Islam. I believe i know more than these 2 friends of mine. Yes i have never preached to them about their lives like the way they did to others; not with the intention of making others better, but more of to show that they are better than the rest. In my most humble perspective, why preach when you cannot practice. Let me tell you the story of a prophet. A villager came and asked the prophet to advice his son not to eat sweets. The prophet came to the person’s house but he only looked at the boy and kept silent. He did this for three days. The villager then asked him why. And his reply was, “I love sweets and i ate them on impulse. That is why i don’t think i should be preaching to your boy about not eating sweets when i indulge myself in that activity”. This is why i guess he is a prophet, and my friends just remain normal humans.

Does it make me less of a muslim if i were to question about things i understand from Quran? I guess that is a lethal flaw. To believe without thinking. Should there be a being who claim himself as god one day, most of us would not be able to question otherwise; Cos we just believe without thinking. We are programmed to just follow orders. We are programmed to just be contented with what we have. To bershukur with what we have.

Sometimes i ask myself, what is my purpose here? I still have yet to find it. And i guess many people died not knowing.