Friday, November 06, 2009

Sleepless Night

Honestly speaking, I am damn sleepy. You know how sometimes when you do something out of…erm… random? Wait. That’s not the word. Erm… passion? That doesn’t quite fit the thing I had in mind. Erm… impulse? Not really the exact word, but I guess it would do for now. Words are really eluding me faster than the MRT. Sigh. Anyway, to get back on track (MRT and tracks...get it get it get it?), yes, I went out for a movie with Hairul and Suhaila and Gab and Afwan. Here is the story, I made plans with Hairul like days before today to meet. But it was all tentative and nothing was so called firmed up. Then today, while I was in Jag’s car- he was supposed to be driving me home. While the car was nearby Vivo, I called Hairul, and that was when he reminded me of the meeting today. I dropped off at Seah Imm, the hawker center opposite of Harbour Front Shopping Center.

We were undecided on where to go though. Somehow, in the end we decided to watch Jennifer’s Body( which I don’t recommend anyone to spend money on). Movie ended and I was home at 3am. I need to wake up by 5 to get out of the house by 5.45am to get to Chai Chee lane for a 7.30am show.

So that explains why I am unable to sleep and has therefore resorted to blogging instead. I need a better life. Are those eye bags I’m seeing underneath my eyes. Sigh.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Dusting it up...

*smiles* The one thing that is so nostalgic to me. A reflection of how much I have grown ( or otherwise). A collection of thoughts and bitchy-ness over the past years. From poly years to working years. To be honest, I missed blogging, and even though there are new ways of expressing thoughts and expressions, i.e shout outs in facebook and twitter, I just prefer to go back to where it all begins. Blog.

The intention to go back to blogging has always been in my mind. IT’s an intention that takes a little bit of time to realise, cos of time constrains. A lot has been happening. Good times. Bad times. So far, I have always been sharing lots of thoughts with my sweet. But recently, there have been times, that I had some difficulty to express what I’m really feeling inside. I guess that was the thing that made me stop blogging. I thought I no longer need to express myself online cos everything that I want to say falls on attentive ears of my sweet. Not that he has been listening any less now, it’s just that, I have a harder time trying to express myself out nowadays. Words seem to elude me. *smiles* And plus he seems to be busier these days and I don’t want to burden him with my incessant yappings.

And also, back then, when I stopped blogging, I thought I had sort of found myself. Okay. This si the part that I have to go back a little behind time and explain the very main reason why I started blogging, apart from the fact that I was encouraged to do so by my MRS. One of the reason I picked up blogging is because I felt the ened to put my thoughts into writings so that i9c an go back to reading it, and thus have a better understanding of what I was thinking/ reflecting back then. So, in some ways, itn was my very own personal way of finding myself, finding my exact identities. As actors, your self indentity some times gets diminished, by playing the lvies of other people. And thus confusions and depression. I mean there were all new to me back then cos I was never an actor and performative arts were new to me in poly. Wait. I think I just created a new word there, or so said the dictionary in words XP. Back to the point, I thought earlier this year, I kinda found myself again, but then now I realised, that maybe I didn’t really find myself, and thus the need for me to go back to blogging now. It may seem a little complex. But to cut things short, I think it is best for you to know now that I just need to go back to blogging for some complicated issues I am facing right now. Let’s just leave it at that for now.

And as I am typing this, I just realised that the time registered 11:39. That would mean, I will need to apck up now and make my way down to Qiaonan Primary School, for an assembly show. Call time: 1200 noon. I am 20 minutes away from location. I need to pack up now. Shutting down…and GONE!
p.s: I didn't have time to run the spelling and grammar check. Read with CAUTION!