Monday, October 31, 2011

By the Beach…

Yesterday night was perfect. We were by the beach. Lying down, looking at the stars. The sky was clear. We were listening to Coldplay. You by my side. You suddenly popped a question: What would you do five years down the road?

I gave it a hard thought. And with that thought, came other questions: Will you still love me if I became unemployable or handicapped? Will you still stay with me if for some reasons I could no longer fulfil your sexual needs? There were many questions.

But at the end of that night, you reassured me that no matter how much we are going to be tested, you sill still stick by my side, through thick and thin, through health and sickness. Thank you for reassuring me… I really appreciate it.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

How do you know if you have found that perfect boyfriend?

I am sure this is one of the age old questions that we all asked ourselves every time we’ve met that attractive stranger, be it in a coffee place or a virtual space. Of course, the doubt, will in one way or the other, be so overwhelming that we repeatedly ask ourselves every seconds of the day, up to the point that it overshadows any possibility for any romance to bloom.

And before you do proceed to read further, please read this disclaimer thoroughly: I am not a romance expert, I just write based on what I know or experience.

Alright, to me the perfect man is out there, but before you can even decide if he is perfect, you have to first of all allow him into your private life. The way to do this is to expose any dirty secrets you have that you know will irk a stranger on the street. For example, on my first date, usually I don’t bother to stress myself out to select that perfect outfit for a first date. I just wear what is comfortable for me, cos I need to know that the man I am dating will put my comfort above his. And if he didn’t react violently, and he asked you out for a second date, then you are assured that he is comfortable with the “real” you and not the “made-up” you.

Next date, wear something that defines you. On my second date, I wore a knee boot that most punkers wear, cos I really liked the boots. He, of course asked me if I am comfortable being in the boots, and suggested that maybe I should change to another pair of shoes. Immediately, I knew his threshold for outlandish outfit. At this point, of course, you can ask yourself, if you’re willing to not wear the boots ever again, just to spend your lifetime with him. I decided not to wear the boots ever again whenever we go out.

Then we you’re attached, go for the haircut you know he despised. If he didn’t break up with you, he is meant to stay. Then, of course, change the hair right after that.

And if in the relationship, you can stay in one toilet and chat while he or yourself is shitting on the throne, he is meant to stay. If he helps you squeeze the pimples on your back and you help him trim his nose hair and you’ve drooled on each other without any feeling of disgust, you shared toothbrush, or comb and he help you style your hair, and he is willing to give up his comfort zone for you. If he can mix with your friends and chat with them about anything that they throw into the table of discussions. Yeap. He is that perfect man. I have one now. I’m blessed.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

The Case of the Ex(es)

A trend in my twitter timeline gets me writing this next entry. It has a hashtag- #ThanksToMyEx.
It’s like this mini tribute to all the exes that one might have, and it got me thinking- I do have hell lots of things to thank my Ex(es) for. The ex-boyfriends I mean. Of course there are a lot of things that I have to be thankful to my ex-girlfriends for. One of which is to make me realise that maybe I am not meant to handle delicate and fragile things. Of course some of my ex-boyfriends went beyond fragile, it made me feel like a bull in chinashop. I suggested that he undergo sex change at the end of our relationship. Mean, but I guess it is justified.

Yes. So why did I decide to dedicate this entry to ex-boyfriends instead of ex-girlfriends? I guess cos I’ve forgotten half of the things I wanted to thank my ex-girlfriends for. *gasp*. And I was not matured enough to be appreciative back then, when I was still straight. And I already did dedicate an entry to all the ex-girlfriends before; the entry is hiding somewhere within this blog.

So the first thing that I got out of my introspection of my previous gay relationships is that they are all intertwined with each other. Starting with the third ex, Amir. I got into a relationship with him and it ended really badly, after three months. Due to my excessive ranting of how I was suffering, a friend decided to introduce Farhan to me. We were in a relationship that lasted about two years. When I broke up with Farhan, I got even more depressed and invited a Malaysian to be a shoulder for me to cry on. That Malaysian, named Alex, travelled to Singapore and became my boyfriend for the next 9 months. Alex introduced twitter to me, which is where I met my current boyfriend. We have been attached for three months now, and I am truly happy.

So here it goes, Thanks Amir for breaking my heart and let me have the chance to meet Farhan. Thanks Farhan for the immense pain that made me desperate enough to get attached to a Malaysian who introduced twitter to me.

I also want to thank Rahman, the first asshole to break my heart. He out-ted me to all my friends. I was devastated, but at least now I know my friends will always be there and accept me for who I am.

The second ex didn’t have much impact or function in my life…no matter how hard I tried to find one. #justsaying.