Sunday, December 27, 2015

Cheers to you My Darlings, My dear Readers....

If you have been dropping by my blogs hoping for some updates, I would first of all like to thank you.  Yes. I rarely update my blog. Cos I felt that as I grow up, I seem to find the need to mince my words before I put it up online. And also it seemed a bit pointless for me to post short entries on blogs when I now can do it on facebook.

But to be honest, I miss blogging. All those pointless entries about nothingness and all those complain. Not to mention the shaming I did on this blog. Oh, all those entries, those writings without giving a fuck if anyone were to read it. The recklessness that got some people all so riled up. Back during which, responsibilities were… zero. And maturity does not even come into question…


And of course… do you guys even remember the different templates that this blog has gone through? Those were the times. Well, 2016 is around the corner… *moves over to get a glass of chocolate baileys* Here is to many more years on this blog darling. I love you all… though I may not know who is currently still reading this blog.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

While Looking for inspiration for #Tuah ...

As I search for inspiration for A.D.I Concept’s new play, Tuah, I looked out of my window. I looked at the MRT. Pretty depressing our MRTS are-- All grey and non-shiny and old looking and… NOISY.

Then I took a sip of my tea from the mug that I got from UNISIM. I closed my eyes; almost falling asleep. I breathed hard, in and out and then I repeated this process for a couple of minutes.

I stood up and walked around. I listened to the sound of my fan, blowing hard to cool the air in the room. The sound of wind tends to be harsh at times. Have you ever tried talking over the phone while the fan is blowing at you? It can be annoying plus irritating.

Then I walked over to the toilet. I turned on the tap and put both my hands under the running tap. The water felt cold. I cupped some water and splashed it on my face. I wiped the excess water off my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed a couple more new lines around my eyes. Dang… aging with stress and tiredness of working… they really took a toll on my youth.


Then I walked back into my room and sat on the same chair that I got off from like ten minutes ago. I sat and looked blankly at my laptop. I switched off my laptop and walked over to my bed. End of story.

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

The Usual Rant Before a Deadline

Hearthstone is on scheduled maintenance. Great. Just great. I am missing my bae cos we could not talk for the past 48hours. Now, my favourite game is on scheduled maintenance!

Then again, i digress. I have to finish reading this thing called a novel to complete my assignment. 218pages. I am at page 129. It is due tomorrow noon.

I have many things running in my head right now. I just had two cups of coffee, and took a deep breath of the air outside my window.

Why am i telling you this? I don't know.

Now i shall go listen to Kuda Hitam by Ketty Koes Endang. 

Monday, September 28, 2015

Help Subscribe to my YouTube Channel!

Ladies and Gentlemen, have you subscribed to A.D.I Concept’s official youtube channel? If you haven’t, go and subscribe now over at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBNClN2RuPoA0kHXw_iF7tw
We promise you exciting videos ranging from Production Trailers to works by different schools in preparation for the different competitions in Singapore.
Just click at the subscribe button on the channel page!

Friday, September 25, 2015

If you only knew

If you only knew
how much I love you
despite our days of cold wars
and shouting matches.
If you only knew
how much my heart sunk
these days when I heard
so little from you
yet so much from others.
If you only knew
how much you've done for me
how much you meant to me
how grateful I've been.
If only you knew
I'm sure I'd be able to let you go
to say goodbye and smile
IF only you knew.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Jadedness in the Craft

You know, after being in the field of teaching and performance for a couple of years, I do have to admit that there will be time when I would feel so burnt out. I know it has nothing to do with my passion. I know I am still very passionate in the craft of performance and moulding of our young minds. I suppose, it is more of that tired feeling; the feeling of being overworked.

Of course, some of you might be thinking—You are working as a freelance performer and educator; wouldn’t you have the control over your schedule? The truth is, YES. I do have control over my schedule. However, being the ambitious me, I am always trying to push myself to work harder—I hope to change the perception of the people around me! I want to mould these young minds to be able to see the ARTS from a different perspective, a positive perspective that is. I want to make them see that you can build your life around your passion in either theatre or dance or fine arts. And I figured, the more students I get to teach, the faster the change would come. In order to teach more students, I would of course need to put in more effort and hours into the work, which then resulted to me feeling tired and worn out at times.

But that is not the reason for me to write this entry. I wrote this entry with the hope to remind myself not to get jaded in my crafts. Despite the difficulty I face, I shall persevere and do my best to inspire my students.

The need to write this entry comes after I watched a piece by a group of graduating students who were directed by the most prolific arts practitioner in Singapore. Let me just indulge a little bit on what happened. I came to watch the production with zero expectation. As I sat in the performing space, I saw the director; he was slouching and looking bored. He has no clipboards or papers to write notes or criticism that might help the students. The script that the students used was written by one of the most talented writer in Singapore. He has written many plays. This particular script has been performed multiple times and I’ve had the honour of being one of the actor to perform the script in 2012 and 2013. The script is hilarious and connects the locals very well. However, during this performance directed by the said director, most of the jokes fell flat; the students were not able to deliver the punch-lines effectively. Half-way through the performance, some of the audience members walked out. The director, sitting among the audience, seemed very unfazed—he continued to look bored in his seat. This, combined with other recent events that involved him, made it very apparent that he was jaded. The thing is, I don’t care if he was jaded. I am more alarmed at the fact that he took on this directorial position despite the jadedness he felt for his crafts. It is just not fair to the students, who were hoping to gain some form of wisdom from his vast experience in theatre.

So here I am, writing in this entry to remind myself not to get jaded. And if I should ever become jaded of my craft, I would remind myself not to even consider teaching the craft to any students…cos it wouldn’t be fair to them.


Sunday, September 20, 2015

The Art of Pantomimes, The art of Clarity

You know, after watching a couple of children’s shows and pantomimes, I could only come to one conclusion—many of us are insulting our future generation’s intelligence. Most of the shows that I’ve watched are one dimensional. The characters and plots are simplified to the point that these stories left no room for contemplations or alternative views. And if the stories ever allow a moment of contemplation ever so slightly, they will usually be banned.

You name it: murder, death, sex, alternative lifestyles; all these are put away from our children on the assumption that our children may be easily influenced by what they read, but have we asked ourselves the more important question—What actually led us to such assumption? Are we basing this assumption on our life’s experience? Were we all once that gullible to be so easily influenced?

I once attended a forum theatre that was performed by Drama Box, a local theatre company. I believe it dealt with the theme of death and how we should be planning for our own deaths before we are crippled with senility. The performance was staged in a basketball court opposite of Khatib MRT station. What I found truly intriguing was that at least 40% of the audience was children. Primary school students and they sat there, eyes glued to the performance. There was one part where a daughter refused to grant her mother’s wish. The details are eluding me at this moment, so please correct me if I got them wrong. I believe the mother-daughter disagreement was about the choice of treatment for the mother’s illness. The mother chose to want to die, while the daughter chose to go with whatever treatment that was necessary to keep the mother alive. We may not know the daughter’s reason to go against the mother’s desire to die, as it wasn’t highlighted during the performance itself. What was clear was that the choice to let her mother go was as equally painful to her as the treatment was to her mother. The pain endured by both mother and daughter was translated and shared by the young audience, some who were barely 6. I remembered thinking—would schools in Singapore have allowed this scene to be performed in front of their students? We, as the educators and parents nominate ourselves as the protectors to our children, protecting them against information we thought was bad; sometimes without realising that our children need no such protection. They understand death, sex, drugs as well as we do. They have clarity on what they think is bad or good for them. We groan about how Singapore has become a nanny state without realising that we are making the same mistake with our children.

And going back to these stories, with the one dimensional plot and characters—are we simplifying life way too much? Are we trying to give our children the illusion that life is simple? Cinderella’s stepmother was deemed as evil because of the way she treated Cinderella. Have we ever put ourselves into the stepmother’s shoes? How would one feel being the second wife? How would one deal with the inferiority complex? The fear of having your own children (Cinderella’s step sisters) be put as second priority, what would you have done if your life is shrouded by such fears? Some of us would have voted for opposition parties, when we are faced with the prospects of those new citizens being treated as first class citizens while our own children pick up cardboards and serve meals at MC Donald’s.


Life is not that simple. So why should we keep our children delusional by serving them with one dimensional plots and characters? Why would we want to shield them from facts about drugs and sex and alternative lifestyles instead of educating them on these issues? Why won’t we give them the clarity that they so deserve?

Monday, September 14, 2015

Suicidal Thoughts

Have you ever wondered
Why we creative people tend to end our own lives?
We see things that normal science or maths people don't see.
We see the world as a constant;
Constantly doomed, that is.
We then took in our stride to be its saviour
Till all hopes are  lost
And that is when
We put our heads in the oven.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Late Night Musing

As I move along in my course of study, I now find it increasingly difficult to focus. I get bored very easily. Not that I think highly of myself. No. Neither do I think myself above the texts that are found in the piles of books supplied at the request of the different course administrators. No. I don’t know. There seems to be this hateful relationship between me and texts. There is not a single more terrifying death I could ever imagine than being bored to death by texts. Of course this is not to diminish the pains others had to go through when meeting with deaths. It is just a personal belief.

A wise teacher, dismayed at my disliking of texts, once suggested that I may learn as much if I learn to observe; of which this single activity could be done via people-watching along a busy street or careful observance of the different drama series and movies. Needless to say, I was confused. I didn’t know what he meant. That is until a year ago.

I have tried to replicate this method through my teaching.


Of course, one may ask, how is this related to the beginning of my rambling, or ranting, whichever you may prefer to call it. Truth is, I have no idea. I just got distracted. Yet again. 

Friday, August 07, 2015

Rights to Love

Now that the whole argument on the gay marriage has died down a little, let me write my thoughts on it. Being in a 4 year relationship, I did, once upon a time, wish for a wedding with my partner. But that was when I didn’t quite grasp what my relationship needed. Though these 4 years, I realised that I do not need a marriage or a wedding. Instead, I actually yearned for something else. So what do I wish for?

I wish for my parents to stop worrying about me not getting married. I wish I could tell them that I’ve found my soul mate, who would take care of me even when they are both no longer able to take care of me. I wish to narrate to them of how my soul mate held my hand as I checked myself into A&E in 2013. I wish I could tell them how I crumbled and cried on my partner’s shoulder whenever I felt so helpless.


I found my soul mate. I just need the rights to love. And the rights to love don’t necessarily have to equate to the rights to get married.

Friday, July 03, 2015

What Should dream made of?

There are times when  I just want to stuff my face into a burger that has cheese fries stacked with 0.5 inch beef patties that are sweet and spicy at the same time. I want to eat ondeh-ondeh cupcakes and lick the salty cream off my fingers. Moving next to 10 pieces of satay dipped together with soft you tiaos all marinated with rojak sauce. To finish it off, I want to wash it down with a glass of iced chocolate.


With all the food swishing and swoshing in my tummy, I want to get naked and ask the mirror who is the fattest of them all. Of course the mirror would say… somebody else is fatter. There will always be someone else fatter. This is what dreams should be made up of.

Monday, June 29, 2015

this is nothing

this is nothing
there is nothing noteworthy
tomorrow will be the same
and next week we will still be here.
when everything is new and keep changing
and changes are constant
we end up looking at the same new thing
till one day ideas run dry
and we can no longer come up with new things
what will happen then?
will we dig up the old
and reminisce what we missed?


Friday, June 12, 2015

Life is about sharing....

I wrote this entry based on a recent conversation I had with my partner. It’s going to be a long entry, but if you don’t feel like reading on, just know that the take-away that I want you to have at the end of this entry is that Life is not all about making money and meeting sales target. Life is about sharing and making the world a better place for others to be able to do the same. And that’s why, whether you’re straight or gay or female or poor, you will always talk about equality—the equal opportunity to share; be it in the form of responsibility or bliss.

There are a couple of reasons why I set up A.D.I Concept. One of the reasons was because I truly want to inspire students to chase their dreams and passion. I have been freelancing as a drama trainer for a number of years working with different companies—They all promise me one vision, and that was to serve the students, improve their lives and give them hope. However, throughout the years, I began to realise that it was all fluff. Most of these companies, they only care about meeting their sales target for the year and bringing in the cash.

I set up A.D.I Concept so that I can teach students in schools at a rate that don’t cost them an arm or leg. For years, my parents have been nagging at me to get a job that pays better. Others laugh at me when they find out how much my company makes in a year. Yes, it is definitely easier for me to just sign on to a company that pays me a monthly salary with a fat bonus along with numerous health benefits, and topping it with CPF, AWS and all the financial acronyms that you can ever think of, while at the same time turning you into a mindless money making drone who only thinks about money and work and money and work. However, that is not how I want to run my life. I want to inspire. You know, every time my students go up on stage to perform and the audience applaud for them, I… I don’t think I would ever be eloquent enough to even express how I feel. When a student decided to stop playing truant and attend school because of my drama classes, do you know how ecstatic I feel? How do I even explain all these feelings to my parents or people around me? Where do I even begin?

Last year, I got ambitious, and decided to hold a production so that my students, who are mostly from not-well-to-do families, can have the opportunity to perform in a proper theatre space. You should have seen their faces. I didn’t manage to receive any forms of funding or grants, and end up making a loss of more than $10k, but those faces that I see on stage… Those faces made it all worth it. And of course, I wouldn’t have been able to do this, without the help of people who believed in me- my fellow collaborators and my life-time partner. From the bottom of my heart, I thank all of you.


And of course, this post is not for me to garner sympathies, nor donations. All I ask from you is to remember that life is not all about meeting sales target and making money. Life is about sharing- the joy, the sadness, the anger, the responsibility, the bliss. And if it is not too much for me to ask, do keep me in your prayers too… pray that I will continue to have the health and courage to do what I do right now… To inspire students to chase their dreams and passion, always.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Those were the times....

As i sat down on my study table, the breeze gently blowing on my face. I look out the window. Oh how i miss this... Just looking out the window with the gentle afternoon breeze on my face and not a single worry. How i miss those times...

Monday, May 11, 2015

Are our souls really immortals?

You know, they say, when you die, your soul goes back to either heaven or soul. And, the funny thing is, your soul doesn't seem to disintegrate. So... Does that mean that our souls are immortal? If this is so, does that mean that our souls are godly?

When you were sleeping...

I look at you
Your eyes closed
Your breathing
In rhythm to the beating of my heart
Sometimes i wonder
What thoughts
What emotions
Could have laud hidden behind those closed eyes?
I look at you
I kissed your lips
While the whole world lay still

Sunday, May 10, 2015

That Feeling....

I have just finished writing a 3000 word essay. I just finished a presentation for another module. The Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) is over too, and I've managed to train the students and clinch Certificate of Achievement. Do you know what I feel right now?

A little relief. I feel like dancing in the street, naked and free.

But then... there is the exams to think about. Next Tuesday. Time to drown myself in notes and books. I'm drowning. I can do this.

Sunday, April 05, 2015

Ageing or Contented?

Have you ever had this moment in your life, where ideas come to you fast and furious, but you just don’t have the energy to put all those ideas into actions? I am having that moment right now. I don’t know if it’s because I am getting old and that ageing is finally getting its grip on me, or whether I am just getting lazy cue to my contentment in life. You know I am very easily contented. Give me food and I am happy.

And on that note- I am still in the process of converting comic ideas in my head to comic strips. Hey, I just realised how tedious it is to create comic strips. Those who are in the field/ industry, here is my big kudos to you.



Thursday, March 19, 2015

Of Good and Evil

You know when I was seven; my ustazah (religious teacher) told us that if we were to do a lot of wrongs in our lives or be a sinner, we would die a slow, torturous and laborious death.  And then she would continue to elaborate that a person who does a lot of good deeds will usually die a quiet, fast and peaceful death. So now, whenever I read the news of people who dies in their sleep, I tend to think that they are good people… you know like our National Silat Boy, Sahrin Shahrudin, who dies in in his sleep. And when I read of news of people whose conditions keep worsening and weakening and takes a long time to heave that last breath—I can’t help but to think that that person might have done a lot of shit in his life. 

Friday, March 06, 2015

Of Death and Eternal Damnations...

Have you guys ever thought what would happen after death? I mean as a kid who goes to religious classes at the age of 6, i've always been told that when, as a Muslim, you die, you will be raised from death, as in you'll live again and you will be questioned on different things;

1. Who is your god?
2. Who is your prophet?
3. What's your kitab?

The religious teachers always told us that failures to answer these questions correctly would result to numerous tortures. And at the same time, you are told that God is almighty and LOVING, and that his live is unconditional... And I was like-- how did that link up to the numerous tortures that are described in the Quran? His live in unconditional amd yet you will face eternal tortures if you dob't behave? Like huh? That is a total flip of the word UNCONDITIONAL, no?

Anyway, i suppose any 6 year olds would freak out at the whole idea of eternal damnations and tortures. It makes the idea of death scary. At that point, instead of thinking about being good and wholesome, i was thinking about not wanting to die!

So i suppose, introducing the idea of death and religion in that light is not really effective in getting the kids to behave.


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Di Pintu Syurga


It’s been a month since I first heard the song “Di Pintu Syurga” on Juara Lagu 29, that was held in January 18 and I still love the song to bits. I think it has something to do with the poetic lyrics that is so simple and relatable. Take a look at it;

Segalanya kaku 
Hati terus menangis 
Bila mengenangkan 
Dirimu telah tiada 
 Kau pergi tanpa pesan 
Tinggal aku sendiri 
Menghitung hari 
Tiada daya 
Hilanglah sepi 

[Chorus] 
Duhai kekasih hati 
Katakanlah padaku 
Bahawa semua ini 
Hanya igauan mimpi 
Aku tak sanggup kasih 
Kehilangan dirimu 
Walau sedetik rindu mencengkam 
Terasa pedih 

[Repeat chorus] 
Doaku kasih kita bersua 
Di pintu syurga

For those non-malays, now Google got translation, so just press the google translation button if you’re curios to find out the meaning to the lyrics. But what impresses me most was how mature Dayang Nurfaizah’s voice was that night. And her vocal technique and control was sooo good! Well done Dayang! You certainly deserve the best vocal award for the night. And that whole dedication of the song to the victims of MH370 was very thoughtful. It made me cry a little.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Time and Family

Sometimes, I just don’t understand some people. They have time to go on facebook or twitter and any other social apps- you name it, they’ve got it- but they claim to have no time to spend with their families. Like hello? If you’d spend less time on those apps, I am sure you would be able to spend more time on your family.

And to those who chooses work over spending time with family, I sure would like to see your face when your boss finally lays you off when the economy take a turn for the worse. Who is going to be there for you? Your boss, is it?

Who gives birth to you? Who had spent more time with you? Your boss?


And one final note—if you think all that sucking up to your boss is going to pay off, think again. Just think again. 

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Thankful....

Ok. It’s been a crazy week for me. My birthday has just passed last Monday and guess how I spent my birthday evening? Staying at home and struggling to complete an assignment. Nonetheless, I am thankful for those who took the time to write some well wishes on my FB wall, and sending me hundreds of messages via watsapp mesages, FB messenger, SMS-es and iMessages. Sorry I have not been able to respond to some of the messages. I promise to reply to them soon.

 



But my real intention of writing this is to tell you how thankful I feel, to be able to live up to such a ripe age (33 years old if you must know) and at the same time to be able do the things I love. Looking back, 10 years ago, I would have never imagined that I will truly be running my own company and at the same time enjoying what I call “work”. Yes, there are hiccups along the way—like forgetting that I have shows on certain days, and getting into tiffs with other teachers, BUT at the end of the day, I am thankful that I am blessed with the graciousness to apologise and an ego small enough to allow me to admit that I’ve fucked up.

And at the age of 32, I managed to fund and produce a full length theatre show under my own company while at the same time funding my degree in English and Literature and funding my Specialist Diploma in Arts Education. Alhamdulillah! (this is loosely translated to thank god or thank Allah).

And of course, all this would never have been possible without the love and support from my family, friends and that significant other. Thank you. Thank you. Here is to many more years of laughters and tears and love. Amin.



Saturday, January 24, 2015

Identity

Well, let me tell you a story about a boy. There is this boy who never does believe the importance of identity. He has always seen himself as average, nothing spectacular ever happened in his life. In fact, if the aunty mending the stores from where he always buys his food from were to fall, that would be the highlight for his day. Otherwise, it would be the usual mundane routine of waking up, sleep, eat, drink and repeat. He feels that he is a nobody, and therefore he concluded that to the world he is non-existent.

One day, his mother told him, “Please be careful of what you put up online. The world can be very nasty. People can take your pictures from the websites and use it to their benefit/ advantage.” The boy ignored his mother. To him, his mother is old fashioned. He thought: Who would want to take my pictures? I am just an ordinary boy.

That was what he thought. He overlooked the fact that he has nice curly hair. He never appreciated his youthful looking skin. He could never grasp the idea that he is gorgeous. Little did he know, Mr X has taken his pictures and stolen his identity, and by the time he realised it, it was too late.


Every deviant websites, you could find his face plastered on the walls. You can find him, involuntarily endorsing products that could well put others six feet under. And soon enough, the police come knocking on his door. And then he ceased to exist in the world; the cruel, cruel world that he once thought was safe.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Ms Universe Singapore National Costume 2015

OH-EM-GEE! Do you know that this year’s Ms Universe Singapore’s costume is finally out. Last year, our Ms Universe Singapore looks like she is carrying a kavadi, which I can understand considering that the date to the competition is relatively close to the date of Thaipusam celebrated here in Singapore. But this! Take a look at this!
I don’t even know where to begin when we talk about this year’s outfit. Is it a sailor moon’s outfit? It looks like our Ms Universe Singapore is set to slay all the other competitors, but honest to god… her outfit ain’t slaying it yo! It is slaying nothing! Probably our police officers can wear this outfit…you know to enforce the alcohol banning shit! Imagine, you are drunk or tipsy, and in that state of drunkardness, you see this outfit. Scary right? You’d be shitting in your pants!

And why get a foreigner to design our national costume? Why?

And by the way, don't feel bad if you hated this costume, cos you ain't the only one!


This was taken from a poll by The New Paper (TNP) on the following website: http://www.tnp.sg/entertainment/miss-universe-singapore-national-costume-revealed-what-do-you-think

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Difference between clients and friends

You know over the years of working under my own company, I begin to observe a trend. Wait, let me do that again. You know, over the years, I’ve met a couple of interesting people. If the saying goes—You can’t judge a book by its covers, I’d say, you won’t know a friend’s true colour till you’ve done business with them.

And so there is this person X, being the good person he is, who has been dealing with a few difficult clients who happen to be close friends. Oh, what does this X work as? Well, it doesn’t matter actually, cos it can happen in any industry whereby your clients who happen to be your friends who then decided to take both friendships and business dealings for granted. But, just for clarity sake, let’s assume that X works as a baker, and comes along client Y who wanted a cake that can be used to promote her make-up business. X asked Y how exactly she intends to use the cake to market her make-up business. Y said that the cake must taste as delicious as her make-up, which of course didn’t make sense. Nothing Y ever said seem to ever make sense. X jokingly asked if she wanted her make-up to be added to the frostings, to which she agreed. Yes, the horror. She didn’t get the joke. She asked X to not start baking the cake till she gets the perfect make-up that could be added to the frostings. Of course, that never happened. Cos Y is always indecisive. She couldn’t make up her mind on which make-up to use as part of the frostings. To make matter worse, she keeps insisting on X to suggest on the choice of make-up to be added in the frostings. As time went by, Y got frustrated with X for not being able to suggest which make-up can be added to the frosting. X then decided to not make the cake for Y. Since then, Y has got some other bakers to bake her the “make-up” cake, which she later used to promote her brand of make-up to Central Channel.

Then comes along client K who wants X to bake a cake that symbolises K’s nature of business. When X asked if K had anything in mind, K said,” We’ll go with your expertise.” So X baked the first cake. K rejected it, claiming that it was not what she had in mind. She suggested a few edits to the list of ingredients. X baked a second cake according to K’s specific ingredients. K rejected the cake, claiming that the shape is wrong. So X baked a third cake. K rejected it again claiming that it was too small. K specified the size of the cake, and how thick it is. X baked the final cake according to the specified shape, size and ingredients. K received the cake and told X that she needs two days to decide if this cake is what she wants.


The moral of the story may seem like—If you want to do business, don’t deal with women. However, it is not. I am not sexist in that sense. It is really, don’t deal with difficult clients who happens to be your friends. Heck, don’t do any business dealing with friends, cos if anything  goes wrong, you’d lose more than just a client. Draw the lines. Differentiate a client from a friend.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Fragile Life

If you haven’t already known, this week was the most intense week of my life. School reopens, which means that business resumes and so is my hectic life. And not forgetting still have my diploma course and my degree course running concurrently. To top that off, my mother has just been warded into the hospital. I shall not indulge in the gory details, but when I was there, I begin to realise something: It wasn’t just my mother who was in the hospital. There were many others; people who are loved and precious, people who are young and had their whole life planned ahead of them, people who never saw it coming—They all, however, had one thing in common. They all had their lives halted because of varying health reasons.

I know many of us, especially parents, who would say clichéd things like, “health is more important than money” or “there is no greater wealth than health”, but I suppose with the rising costs of living here in Singapore, many tend to overlook, or rather, we all were more ready to pawn our health just to get a little more wealth. Of course, many never realised that wealth would be gone the very minute your health is gone too. But I guess, when you have a family to support, in your mind, you’d probably think that you’d die just to see your family happy.


That was what my mother had in mind. She gave up her health just for the family. What she didn’t know is that this family would probably collapse without her around. She probably didn’t know that, this family unit is just as fragile as her life.

Sunday, January 04, 2015

Family- Yours could have well be worse than mine

You know how sometimes we love to compare our families with other people’s families and we tend to only be able to look at the negative side of our families and somehow we always only tend to be able to identify the positive side of other people’s families? At that point of time, we’d be wishing if it was ever possible to swap families, and what you’d give to turn that into a reality. That is when I’d tell you stop and that was all a mirage, an outlook that was never reflective of the real thing. It is is the same concept as “the grass is always greener on the other side”. We always yearn what we couldn’t have, and not realise that what we have is being yearned for by others. Our needs are always forever evolving, but what keeps us happy is our mind set. If we keep yearning for what others have, we might lose the treasure that we are already holding on to.

I know. It all sounds so philosophical. Let me just break it down into simple thoughts for you. All families have their own sets of limitations, and strengths. It is easy for us to see the weakness in our own family because we see them all the time, and let’s face it, we tend to remember bad things better than good things. Just like how we could easily have forgotten all the good deeds our own family has done but the bad things they did still lingers in our minds.

The flaws in others’ families might be harder to for us to detect, cos let’s face it, who wants to appear ugly and rude to the world? No one. We all put on a mask, or our best foot forward when we are out in the public. That is why, if you’re wondering, our ministers encourages us to be more vigilant of spousal abuse and always keep a lookout for the tell-tale signs, cos family abuse and all the bad things that happen in a family, usually happen behind closed doors, where no eyes of the public can see.


So, the next time you’re about to wish for other people’s families, think again. Their families could be far worse than yours. 

Thursday, January 01, 2015

2015 and Beyond.....

And so 2014 came and passed. Now 2015 is here. While I am not really a fan of new year resolutions, cos I don’t believe in turning over a new leaf or making things happen in the beginning of the year, I am somehow compelled to just share with you a little bit about my plans for 2015 and so…. Here is my list of things to do in 2015 (minus the I need to lose weight and keep fit shit);

1. Complete my Specialist Diploma- This is something that I’ve been keeping myself very focused at. I want, or rather I must have my diploma done by June next… So that I can move on in life and do other better things--- like produce another play for a year end pantomime.

2. Punctuality—It is something that I let slipped a couple of times in 2012, 2013, and 2014. So this time around, I aim to be punctual, if not 15 minutes early for any appointment.

3. To be thrifty—Yes. I need to be this and save at least… shit… I cannot reveal the amount here. I’ll just write it somewhere at the corner of my laptop probably.

4. Complete 7 modules for my degree for next year. This would mean that I would still have about 7 more modules to complete in 2016, and by the time I reach 35, I would have already completed my degree, and look forward to owning a house in 2017!

5. Work hard and play harder in life—It’s been really a hell of a ride in 2014. And I was telling myself that I need to play harder in 2015. Maybe go for more runs!

And there you go… 5 things I wanna do this year.